I sort of see them in the same boat as well, but I’m getting tired of the fan reactions. I’m beginning to realize why people found the Rumple vs. Regina race to redemption battle so irritating last season, and this is coming from somebody who is pretty heavily invested in them both being redeemed in realistic ways.
One thing that bothers me is the vastly different reactions there seem to be to Regina killing that girl and Rumple killing his wife. Both were somewhat pushed and goaded into it, but ultimately both -chose- to kill the other party. Both actions were bad, to put it mildly. Regina being disappointed about Daniel staying dead doesn’t justify her ripping a random girl’s heart out. Yet people use that scene as proof of how she was a poor, manipulated girl, where they read the scene with Rumple and Milah very differently. What a shocker. They’ve both made bad choices. /Rant
Also, as far as the manipulation argument goes, Regina was manipulated and taken advantage of by Rumple, but he was manipulated by Zozo. Doesn’t absolve either of them. They’ll have to actively work for their redemption.
Also, I think it’s key to mention that the two people who push Regina’s berserk button are trapped in FTL. Snow’s not around to remind her of Daniel, and Emma’s not around to make her jealous of Henry’s affections. At this point, she’s not even sure if she’ll ever see either of them again, considering that they’re not immortal and considering how long it took Rumple to find a way into our world. We know they’ll be back, as viewers, but the characters don’t.