When we just had the first part of her dialogue from the promo, I’d just figured she was talking about being reunited with family, but “Something that goes against your very nature,” makes me think there’s gotta be more to it.
I think she meant courage, as that is what she ends up with at the end of the episode–a totem of Charming’s courage Rumple was viewed as a coward his whole life so it’s something he has been searching for.
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"He was a lot of things to me" "The only conclusion was love"