Another point to add to this, the series has shown that the love of a parent is one of the most powerful of all. The Charmings are willing to sacrifice everything for their children, Ruth sacrificed herself to give her son the chance of a family, Henry Sr gave his heart to Regina so that the curse could be cast, Rumple created the cast to get his son back, Regina and Emma both give their son true love’s kiss to break curses etc etc (there are so many more examples I could pull out)
So is it possible that in fact the thing that Snow loves most would be one of her children rather than Charming? Charming used Snow’s love for their child to convince her to cast the curse which would seem to indicated that Snow would find it harder to live without her child than her husband.
And Phee you are so right, I am starting to have such issues with the apparently selfless Charmings bending everything to suit them at times.
“The truth isn't easily pinned to a page. In the bathtub of history the truth is harder to hold than the soap and much more difficult to find.” - Terry Pratchett