People with such strong abandonment feelings have a tendency to push people away to avoid being disappointed and let down, strange, because it means one fairly often forces them even to let one down again, thus one is reinforcing feelings one would like to overcome.
As someone with DEEP abandonment issues, I can attest to that. And you’re right, I push people away all the time but then wonder why people leave me. It doesn’t make sense but..that’s how it goes.
Okay, one tiny exception, in Lost Girl there was a rare moment of understanding but it was gone like in a second. Snow and Emma could in theory connect even via that share experience of missing out on seeing their child’s first years, though Emma is so lucky to at least now experience Henry turning into a teenager and a set of false memory of raising him, but again, it is like there is nothing. Then there is Bandit Snow, who could share some experience of having to survive while on the run with Emma…
That moment in Lost Girl was beautiful but it came to absolutely nothing. It was there to give people a Snow/Emma moment but it didn’t continue down the line with the characters. Instead, Emma went back to being distant (though you do not tear down walls in one conversation) and Snow began to wish for another child. I don’t “blame” anyone for this (except the writers) but the fact that it came to nothing and then at the end of the season it’s “mom and dad! you’re my home!” feels out of left field.
But OUaT has nothing better to do than to turn Emma into just another princess, who is not the classical damsel-in-distress anymore but still can’t find herself and find confidence in herself without some guy holding her hand. What a shame.
I said this in another thread but I’ll say it here. Emma Swan was my favorite female on this show. I loved her. Adored her. Defended her. By the end of S3B, I don’t think she’s Emma Swan anymore. And this has NOTHING to do with her romantic entanglements.
Consider this
Season One finale: slays a dragon and declares Henry to be the most important person in her life. Savior+ Mother–that is what Emma Swan is .
Season Two finale: saves the town of SB and then goes after Henry after he’s been kidnapped by GOAT. Savior + Mother. Still keeping in line with who Emma Swan is despite S2’s wonky storytelling
Season Three (particularly S3B): Emma can’t be the Savior, she has nothing to do with taking down Zelena, she is a bystander who is actually ROBBED of her Savior powers and then she breaks history and has to clumsily and hamfistedly fix it. And mother? She doesn’t want Henry to be with his family–including his other mother, she doesn’t want Henry to see his Father when they find Neal, she wants to pull him away from his life.
The season ends with her having “saved” people only after she broke it all (and saving “the wrong person” because she felt super bad about Marian dying) AND she barely mentions Henry during the course of the time travel escapades.
And yes she found her home with her parents but it literally happens over the span of (in show) one or two days. (2 hours for us). One second it’s “I’m leaving. I won’t need magic in NYC” and then “I must stay in SB!” Lightening fast character development that makes me spin