depiction and message of love and romance in Once Upon A Time, generally speaking and not directed at any ship whatsoever. That felt like safer ground rather than singling out one ship.
First off, thank you! thank you! thank you! I honestly had to take a breath & and leave this site when I saw the thread you mention- As you have done, I wanted to point out how each ship on the show can easily be made to be seen as promoting very negative aspects of human behavior- from Rumbelle to Snowing, SQ to Regina/Graham, SF to Ariel/Eric, But decided not to bother as I doubted it would be welcome there. This is a much more appropriate, unbiased & less confrontational way to talk about the subject of relationship portrayals, without it singling out & alienating any one ship (& therefore group of fans) as being in ‘poor taste’.
So much to read & comment on- I’ll take it one couple at a time & try not to get to off topic 😉
1st Snowing:
Snow White and Prince Charming (Snowing) Idea: the perfect true love Problem: an almost obsessive, unable to exist outside of each other love. As of the end of S3B, Snow and Charming literally share a heart. If one of them dies, it’s likely that the other will drop dead as well. There have been times on the show when, given the choice between her husband or her child, Snow has declared her choice, easily, to be her husband. Now I’m not married nor do I have children so I don’t know if this considered normal (please chime in on this if you’re knowledgeable). Is this sort of all consuming love healthy? Or natural? Or even possible?
As S3 progressed I actually started to feel this way about them as well, so to a large extent I agree that Snowing often has come off as obsessive or at the very least, very needy… I think Snow more than Charming in most cases & it got quite annoying- although being separated & living a lonely cursed life for 28yrs could make almost anyone rather needy I guess :/
I’m not married, nor do I have children, so cant really comment on the kids 1st thing- but I do think maybe once your children have grown into self sufficient adults, you should probably put your partner 1st in most cases, since that is the person who you are actually, ideally spending the rest of your life with etc. where as adult children move away as a natural process of living their own lives (I totally get this isnt the case for every culture though, so it’s just a loose personal opinion). I guess what I’m trying to say (not very well), is I think the dynamics of parent & child change as children grown into mature adults- hope that makes sense.
I’d also like to add that S1 Snowing in a weird way, promoted the idea of ‘cheating on spouses as being acceptable if you truly feel drawn to someone else’. I mean how many people decided they no longer wanted Snowing together when Charming cheated on his ‘wife’? Most of us pretty much thought ‘they’re cursed, so we’ll let it slide’.
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Snowing represents the loved up, can’t live without each other aspect Rumbelle represents the loving someone even their flaws aspect SwanFire represents the innocent first love aspect. OutlawQueen represents the love after death aspect CaptainSwan represents the second chance aspect
I really like this point, well spotted & I am going to steal it for use else where if you dont mind? 🙂
I think the message of Once in regards to love and romance is that there is no perfect relationship. Most fairytales end with “and they lived happily ever after” (usually as the characters get married). Once shows that even these “happily ever after” relationships have their ups and downs. For example, RumBelle fight and sometimes Rumple screws up big time, but they still love each other deeply.
This, absolutely this!
Is the ONCE love displayed by Snowing different than the Bella/Edward pairing because ONCE is essentially about fairy tales?
Dont hate me for it, but the Twilight saga books are a guilty pleasure of mine- I LOVE Alice, Jasper & Carlisle *hangs head in shame* lol 😛 Seriously though, I dont see a difference at all between the 2 mentioned couples- both are overly co-dependent IMO. I guess the big question is “Is that level of codependency seen as acceptable for ‘fantastical’ works of fiction, because it isnt healthy in reality, or realistic in nature? Or does it kind of fall under the same purview as 1st person shoot em up type RPG’s do- where people actively run around fictional or ‘based on reality’ worlds, with the sole purpose of killing?”
Do we accept Snowing’s love as more pure because of genre? And…is THAT okay?
I dont think either one is more pure personally-genre differences or not.
Should we expect that these relationships have a measure of reality to them? Do they need to, in order to be believable? Or should we make them as fantastical as possible to dissociate from reality?
I think, no matter how far fetched these relationships may seem, there is a measure of reality in each relationship for the very points POM pointed out- The fact we have very real concepts of types of love being portrayed, yet set up in such utterly fantastical ways, means they are in reality duel nature’d- they hold just enough ‘reality’ to be relatable, but are portrayed in a utterly fantastical fashion so we can dissociate from them if we choose too- If that makes sense (It’s getting late here).
I think the relationships need to be identifiable with the audience so they have to have some measure of reality to them. However, people also watch the show as a form of escapism, they want to get lost in this fantasy world so you can’t make it too reality based. it’s a fine line to walk.
POM said it way better than I did 😉
The question, to the general public, then becomes: is ONCE leaning one way or the other? Are the relationships and love stories on ONCE more for escapism and can never be replicated in the real world without dangerous consequences; or are they grounded in a reality that we understand and can mimic?
I think the general public would lean towards fantastical escapism & I base that solely on what I’ve seen & heard. I think those who watch a fantasy drama hoping for more realistic or harsh realities to unfold, are just going to wind up disappointed in the show & change channel. That’s not to say everything that happens plot or relationship wise has no basis in reality, because it does, just that fantasy by its very nature is reality wrapped in a sparkly, ‘unlikely’ package 😉 Nor have I encountered any casual viewers who delve into the relationships or plots – pros or cons, like we do- they are simply watching to be entertained (I have family members & a great deal of friends who “watch & enjoy” Once, but they dont participate in our crazy fandom at all- I consider them to be “casual viewers/public audience”- I often think they have a better idea of the show’s actual concepts than we do sometimes- since they dont watch through shipping or anti ship goggles 😉 ).
Will come back tomorrow & give thoughts on the other relationships- it’s to late now, but I’m loving this thought provoking thread 🙂