In my opinion, having a successful, healthy relationship comes down to mutual reciprocity, as well as commitment. Do both partners not only feel love and respected, but also secure? If an error is made, do both couples show true repentance and forgiveness?
I agree with this, though I’m going to qualify the last bit about respect. It’s possible to FEEL love and respect but not be respected in actuality. Someone can say that they respect you, but then their actions prove otherwise. To use one ship on ONCE as an example: Rumple loves Belle, I will never question that. But respect…he might say he does. But his actions–going after Regina in 201, lying to her throughout most of 204, not telling her the whole truth in 211, killing Zelena after making some more promises–seems to suggest that his words and actions do not match up. Rumple’s own selfish desires to keep secrets, have magic, and have power keep appearing to outweigh any respect he would claim to have for Belle. And for Nealfire, if we want to extend this to parental/child love.
Belle has this great line in 317 about “self-respect” when she initially refuses to help Regina because Regina did horrible things to Belle in the past. But when/if Belle learns what Rumple has done at the end of S3 and her stance is “that’s okay, it’s just part of who you are,” then I have to question not only Belle’s self-respect but question even more the respect Rumple has for Belle.
To use another example: Regina might claim that she respects Robin, but does she really if she ends up going after Marian with every intention of killing or at least removing Marian as an obstacle? Is that respectful to Robin and Roland?
Again, actions and words not matching up. They should align but there seems to be a disconnect, which calls into question the healthy bit of these relationships.