It’s bad writing, as you say later, but it’s not just that. It’s being totally disconnected from any sense of feminism, morality, or understanding of current discourse in our society viz a viz the intersection of media and society.
Maybe, I just think that’s a little harsh. I think the writers just screwed this up. They wanted us to really believe that Hook had no control over what he was doing. And that we are just supposed to forget what he said and did as the DO, so now that he isn’t the dark one, we should want to save him. This did not land. And to me, that’s bad writing. As far as the disconnection with feminism, morality, etc., I just don’t know. Like, Emma truly feels like it’s her fault that Hook did those things as the DO (he did tell her not to make him one), and she truly feels what he said and did as the DO was not his fault and that it was simply the darkness. We are not supposed to view it as emotionally abusive if he couldn’t control what he was saying/doing. Which is why for me, I’m not like offended by it or anything. It was just poor execution and writing because we all clearly do feel like it is abusive because we don’t feel like the darkness would just make someone say/do horrible things like that because it wasn’t this dark with Rumple.
It’s important to remember what the writers are trying to make us feel and what they actually are making us feeling. The relationship is not SUPPOSED to be abusive. We are SUPPOSED to feel bad for Hook because he really wouldn’t want to say/do these things. So when Emma finally “kills” him, and relieves him of his struggle (after seemingly overcoming it and saving everyone), we are SUPPOSED to want Emma to save him, not think why she is going after someone who abuses her. But because of bad writing, it doesn’t stick. But as a fan, I’m trying to look at it the way the writers want us to look at it, otherwise the show won’t make sense. So if they want to tell me that the darkness really did make Hook say/do those things, and that he truly does care for her, I have to go along with it otherwise saving him and the back half of this season will make zero sense.