Maybe, I just think that’s a little harsh
Hook and Emma are not the only example. They are the ones that get talked about most here, but there are plenty of others. How about Zelena and Robin? Regina and Graham? How about their treatment of rape in general? Of POC? Of the LGBT community? How about Emma and Regina’s main storylines getting reduced to their love stories? How about the latest episode with Rumple and Belle?
Like, Emma truly feels like it’s her fault that Hook did those things as the DO (he did tell her not to make him one), and she truly feels what he said and did as the DO was not his fault and that it was simply the darkness. We are not supposed to view it as emotionally abusive if he couldn’t control what he was saying/doing
Of course we’re not supposed to view it as emotionally abusive. That doesn’t mean it’s not. Just like the writers killing off, making evil, making white, or making irrelevant the various PoC characters they’ve had isnt intentional racism because A and E hate PoC. It’s unintentional and uniformed racism. Just like their treatment of CS falls into the rape culture traps—but, just so you don’t misunderstand me–it’s also the same traps that a lot of media falls into. The conversation being had by on social media sites and by concerned individuals and groups isn’t just OUAT related, it’s media related.
But as a fan, I’m trying to look at it the way the writers want us to look at it, otherwise the show won’t make sense.
And sure that’s one way to view media. But I personally don’t think it’s a valid one. It’s fine to be a fan, but it’s another to be a fan and to try and rationalize some truly appalling decisions. For example, I am an avid Doctor Who fan. Have been for years and years–classic and NuWho. I do not approve of a lot of the most recent seasons. I have been pointing out the show runner’s (Steven Moffat) faults in story lines, misogyny, and disregard for canon, emotional resolution, ect for quite awhile. Same goes for me and Sleepy Hollow–a show I adore with all my heart, but have NO problems pointing out that they’ve got a bit of a white-woman fetish when it comes to “spicing” it up with their otherwise diverse cast who do no need any interjection from other characters.
But I still watch, love, and analyze both shows.
If I were to look at OUAT only the way the writers want me to, then I’m only getting one half of the conversation. It’s a one sided conversation because it means that my input and critique (or praise!) means nothing. We’re back to the reason why we still watch–because I think this show speaks to a lot of social problems in our world and I like to talk about those.
I guess it comes down to where you stand on the philosophical question of it the author is dead or not and what is text. For me, text is everything that is written about the show including this comment right here. A and E (and other writing staff) are not “gods” (in terms of the philosophical question, not an infallible sense) who have the final word on what is good, bad, and appropriate in their show. They might create the original text but everything that exists around it is text and equally valid.
What you depicted here is the “battered wife syndrom”. She did something that pissed off her boyfriend, and he becomes violent towards her or other people, instead of putting the blame on him, she blames herself for making him angry. This is a syndrom that is common in abusive relationship. (Speaking on Buffy, they did an episode about it -304)
I don’t know how many times we’ve posted this in various places but: the abuse wheel
I won’t bother making a list of all the times we’ve seen Hook use some of these on Emma. It wold be far too long. But, for what it’s worth, not all of those instances happen when he’s the DO.
I don’t think they even put any thought to it. I’m calling what I saw on screen, what other people saw and what younger people see as a relationship that the show depicts as ideal.
For me it’s far more than that they don’t even think about it. You can’t think about something you don’t realize is a problem. They have fallen into pretty typical depictions of men and women that exist in media. They are problematic depictions. Greatly problematic. But until they recognize that these depictions are problematic, then they won’t course correct. I don’t want to start talking about privilege because that’s a whole other issue but in media like TV it is often very hard for white heterosexual men to write compelling healthy relationships because they don’t understand that some of the things they’ve been shown and told are romantic…aren’t. But they sit in a place of privilege and don’t have to confront what it feels like to be stalked, abused, toyed with, made into objects.
Again, I point to Jessica Jones as something everyone should be watching. (broken record, I know)