I agree with your analysis and find it fascinating. I do think that this is how the scenes on the show come off. I don’t think they are romantic. I just don’t think the writers are doing it on purpose. I do think that the actors, certainly Jennifer, try to play there character consistent with what was written in the past and i certainly believe that she considers Neal her true love. It is just that things in this show don’t exist in a vacuum. It isn’t just the relationship between Emma and Hook that is written unhealthy and with Emma seeming crazy for being with him. The same is true of many of the relationships, Rumpel/Belle, Snow/Regina, Emma/Regina, Regina/Henry, Regina/Zelena, Regina/Cora. I probably missed some but all of the big important relationships are really problematic on this show.
I just don’t believe there is some grand plan to get rid of Hook, for Emma to come to her senses. I think it is possible. Neal died. Regina is part of the family. If either of those things can happen then any nonsense can make its way into this show. I like Regina as part of the family, but it doesn’t feel earned to me. If that can happen. If Regina can be part of the family. If Neal, the purpose and point of connection of so much, can die. Then anything can happen. Hook can be Emma’s new true love. Emma can get together with Regina. I just really think that the writers and ABC have made their choice and that is Emma and Hook and they aren’t going to change their minds.