Pinocchio is kind-of, sort-of my mom’s brother, and the Snow Queen Ingrid was my her foster mother. Her nieces are Anna and Elsa! Of course, Anna almost married Prince Hans of the Southern Isles, but did you know that Ingrid’s other sister almost married the Duke of Weaseltown? Oh, and something weird is going on between Rumpel and the evil side of Regina, even though he also had a thing with Cora, who I should probably mention is the Queen of Hearts. She tutored Anastasia, the Red Queen, now the White Queen, who married Will Scarlet, both a Knave of Hearts (yes, there were two) and one of Robin Hood’s Merry Men (Robin Hood was Regina’s soulmate, according to Tinkerbell). Also regarding Anastasia, she worked with Jafar to become powerful sorcerers, but Jafar’s teacher, staff, and former lover Amara was actually trying to find her genie sons, one of whom later married Alice. Another genie was Regina’s magic mirror. Apparently Anastasia is NOT Cinderella’s stepsister, despite all evidence to the contrary. Oh, and Jafar is the Sultan’s illegitimate son.