Ok, I’m going to be the Milah apologist in this thread.
I know this season is rather old, I was curious any ideas as to what Milah originally saw in Rumple? We were given no story as to how they met.
I would have liked this story. But, perhaps there was no big story involved. Given the socio-political environment of the EF, it’s possible that people just married the first suitable person they met when they became of marriageable age. Love didn’t have to be involved, just basic compatibility, which probably meant being able to provide and being capable of having children. We kind of saw this in action when Cora married Regina off to Leopold. I suspect it was more the norm than the exception. So, there’s nothing wrong with Milah not loving Rumple in a big, grandiose way. In many cultures, love develops as the marriage progresses, and that was probably the expectation Rumple and Milah had.
While I agree I don’t think these were qualities that Milah was ever interested in with Rumple. She did not care about his character. Just with the few scenes we have seen between Milah and Rumple she seemed to hate his sweetness, kindness, and tenderness. She was not looking for him to be a good father (as we saw in 5×14) or a “good ” person as we have seen in most of the flashbacks and especially in 5×14. What she valued, IMO is that he could provide her with a decent life. When he came back from the war as a “coward” he could no longer provide that and therefore she scorned him completely and to a certain effect their child also.
I disagree with a lot of this. Milah seemed to appreciate Rumple just fine before he went off to war. When he returned, they become social pariahs. In their society, with no government assistance or the like, social support would have been everything. It probably meant that Milah had to do all of the backbreaking work herself – even more so, since Rumple was compromised. Also, we saw Milah being harassed in ‘Devil’s Due’. We don’t know if this was a regular occurrence, but it may well have been. I imagine that the wife of the crippled, cowardly, town traitor was fair game for the louts. And few of the ‘good folk’ would have lifted a finger to help her. So yes, under these circumstances, I imagine Milah probably didn’t appreciate Rumple’s qualities very much. But who would? I mean, it was Rumple’s actions that triggered this hostility towards them.
I will be the first one to say that Milah is probably one character that I have never felt any sympathy for. She was selfish, self centered, and both a horrible wife and mother. I don’t believe she ever loved Rumple for who he is. She may have loved him for what he could provide her but when he could no longer provide her with that she scorned him, abused him, and neglected their child. She eventually took off with someone who she felt could provide her with a better life and protection. All in all I think her and Hook deserved each other, and Rumple and Bae were better off without her.
I also think this is unfair. There’s nothing wrong with expecting your husband to provide for and protect you – that was just the culture of the EF. Why is Milah so horrible for accepting the socially prevalent beliefs of her day? I think it also trivialises her situation to say that she simply “ran off with Hook because he could provide her with a better life”. Perhaps, Hook was the only person in her life who actually listened to her and respected her? I know this sounds trivial, but for someone who never gets respect, it means everything. Respect is a fundamental human need. It’s why people join gangs and cults. Rumple may have been sweet and kind, but he didn’t listen to her when she said she wanted to move. He simply didn’t understand. I suspect this was a recurring marital problem, and if so, both sides are responsible, not just Milah. What’s the point of having a sweet, kind husband if he doesn’t understand how much you are suffering?
What completely makes her unsympathetic for me is that she left her child. I can understand wanting a better life for herself, or a different mate or what have you but to leave your own son for that is unforgivable.
Why? Emma left her son. Snowing left their daughter. Rumple left his son. Why does nobody give Milah the benefit of the doubt and assume that maybe she was suffering so much, that she HAD to leave for her own sanity? As you say, she had to have been in a very dark place. Also, are you saying that this action is worse than mass murders? Because other characters have been forgiven for those.
Does Milah ask how Bae is doing, does she say hey Rumple what happened to you and where is our son? No! She was first worried about Hook, then makes a deal with Rumple for the bean. She does not even ask him what the bean is for, she simply says I don’t know why the dark one wants the bean but I know he does. Maybe just maybe if she had asked about her son I could have sympathy for her but she doesn’t, why because she could have cared less about Bae.
I get that this looks bad. But let’s face it, the situation was very unusual and highly tense. People were about to die. Maybe she felt that asking about Bae was secondary to the fact that blood was about to be shed. Also, it’s just one instance. If we got repeated instances of Milah ignoring Bae, then yes, I’d say there was enough evidence that she didn’t care. But I personally think that it’s too far a leap to make based on this one situation, where there were mitigating circumstances. In ‘Devil’s Due’, Milah expresses regret about Bae and does ask about him.
I find it interesting that Milah, a poor, powerless woman whose mistakes are very human, gets almost universal hate from the OUAT fandom – the same fandom who can find plenty of sympathy in their hearts for mass murdering villains! Yes, she made mistakes which hurt her family. Yes, she needs to be held accountable for that. But did she deserve to be murdered in cold blood and then thrown into the River of Souls? I don’t think so!