I don’t blame him for being hesitant. I blame him for letting go of Bae. He let go of Bae’s hand and pulled back and let his son fall into a glowing green portal that he himself was afraid of and Rumpel did that to save himself. It seems like everyone thinks it is reasonable that he do anything to get back his son, i do not think that, but even if that were true, Rumpel let Bae go into what he perceived as danger so i actually think Bae was probably better off growing up away from his father. Rumpel may regret that decision, but he did it and it will always be between them.
It is like Snow sending Emma through the wardrobe. That will always be between Snow, Charming, and Emma, the whole why could you send me away. And Snow even did that for the best if intentions. To protect Emma from the curse and so that she could come back and save their world. Rumpel doesn’t even have that. His intentions were all fear of losing his power and lack of trust in Bae and just fear of what was going to happen next. There were no good intentions on Rumpel’s part.
And Rumpel can still be redeemed and even forgiven for what he did, but i think it has to come from a place of him realizing, really realizing that what he did was wrong. And i think that Rumpel just needs to stop harming other people to get what he wants. That just needs to stop. That was Bae’s biggest reason for wanting his father to no longer have power so that Rumpel would stop hurting people and Rumpel has not changed on that matter from what we have seen.