Steve Harvey: “Rumplestiltskin, introduce your family.”
Rumple: “My lovely and centuries-younger wife Belle, formerly a princess from an ogre-overrun realm, now an escapee from a mental institution. Next to her, the in-laws … Snow White, formerly a princess, until her evil queen stepmother conned a genie to kill the king. In the middle–well, we just call him Charming. Formerly a prince until his adoptive father decided to behead him. And down on the end, my son’s baby mama, Emma–“
Steve: “Let me guess : formerly a princess.”
Rumple: “Until her parents hid her in an enchanted tree. Now she’s the town sheriff.”
Steve: “And what do you do for a living, Rumplestiltskin?”
Rumple: “I used to be the master of dark magic, the most powerful and dangerous man in all the land. Now I mostly collect rent, repo vehicles and beat younger men up with my cane. Oh, and play pranks on the mayor.”