Late for the discussion, but adding some thoughts.
Think if comparing Regina and Emma regarding Henry, should ask a few simple questions:
What was the prime motive for Regina to adopt Henry in the first place? Was it for Henry’s sake or more for her sake? Was it to give love or to receive love? Was she eager about her happy ending or about Henry’s happy ending? Regina did care for Henry, but did she really, deeply care about him before Emma showed up? Did she after?
and
Did Emma give up Henry for adoption for her own sake or for Henry’s sake? Was it to give herself a better chance or to give Henry his best chance?
None of these questions have to do something with Henry’s point of view though, I leave that here out to not complicate things more. Depending on who’s point of view you take, might answer differently. I’m looking for motives not judgement, exploring the characters (I like both characters and find them both interesting, just saying). I don’t expect you to answer it here, but think of it.
Think neither Emma nor Regina could be named best mother ever.
Emma had very low self-esteem when she gave up Henry for adoption. She did it despite her own bad experience with the foster system. She could only hope, that things for Henry would be better, because she never felt like tossing him away, unlike what she thought her parents did with her. Emma must have been convinced, that no matter what, Henry would be better off without her.
Besides Henry there is something else Regina and Emma share: a lack of experience with true love, though because of very different events and reasons. One has an emotional void to fill, the other has to overcome her emotional walls. Interestingly enough it’s Henry who brought (back) a sense of true love into both lives.
For Emma this moment could only happen, when she finally started to believe in the stories in Henry’s book, believe in fairy tales magic and true love. Ironically it was only after she felt like she had totally failed and thought she had lost Henry, that she is able to show true love openly. That is, when the curse breaks (or at least partially does).
Emma has not just abondement issues but some serious issues with commitment and expectations as well. So yes, I can see, why one might think, that she gave up Henry for her own sake as much as for his even, although I think, her prime motive was the best chance for Henry. Emma never felt anywhere at home, and over time it was easier for her to put up with it by not making herself be at home anywhere. And expectations always can be scary, but for Emma experiences with expectations about her as much as with expectations she had mostly weren’t good. A simple way to deal with that: reduce your own expectations, avoid feeding other people’s expectations, and care as little as you can about what other people think of you. Keep things simple and no obligations. She struggled with it all through season 01.
In “Price of Gold” Emma tells Ashley: “People are going to tell you who you are your whole life. You just got to punch back and say, “no, this is who I am.” You want people to look at you differently? Make them. You want to change things? You’re going to have to go out there and change them yourself, because there are no fairy godmothers in this world” It sums pretty much up, what Emma’s philosophy of life was when she came to Storybrook. A philosophy which is somewhat eroded now that she has prove there are fairy godmothers, Furthermore: now all of a sudden she has a home, a family, people putting her first for a change, or as long as there is no world to save. I wouldn’t expect anyone to adapt to that over night. People can change, but it takes a while. She still has some emotional walls up.
Or in other words: I would be disappointed with the writers, if, when Emma and Snow return (alone or bringing some people with them), all would be happy ending for Charming-White-Swan(-Mills)-family and there would be just the fight with Hook and Cora. Think there is still some dynamic and personal struggle and issues left in the family, for Emma.
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