Well, it was only a few days time between stealing her father’s heart, and evoking the curse. We have nothing to verify the timing of all this. Other than the fact that a few days is not much time for the mad hatter to go mad. To me it seems like it would be at least a year or more, before the mad hatter had gone mad.
As for the Queen of Hearts knowing Regina needed her father’s heart to complete the curse? Well, even Regina didn’t know she needed his heart, so how could the Queen of Hearts know? Also, Wonderland and FTL are different worlds. It’s not like you just visit the next town over to spy on an enemy. There are only so many portals from one world to the next – The Hat was one such portal. Alice tumbling down the rabbit hole was another. And those are the only two we know of, I think. I never read Alice in Wonderland (the book) so I’m speaking from ignorance here.