The way this played out, it was like a parallel, yet a contrast to his past.
Back in the day, he deserted the war, for justifiable reasons IMO, but everyone, including Milah, saw him as a coward, because he wasn’t willing to stand up to the front line of the war, even though it meant his almost certain death.
Rumple wanted desperately to be with Milah and Bae, so he did what he thought was right, but was considered cowardly.
Now, he desperately wanted to be with Belle and Bae, wanted to do what was right, but this time that meant actually stepping up to the front line of the war, knowing it would mean giving his life. And he was able to do that because of the strength he’s found since knowing Belle.
Back then, his significant other would have preferred if he’d died. Now, his significant other definitely did not want him to die. Back then he didn’t make what was perceived as a brave choice. Now, he definitely did make a brave choice. Damned if he does, damned if he doesn’t. He doesn’t believe he can have both the bravery, and the love, they’re just not compatible in his world. It’s so emotionally complex. It makes my heart hurt.
But it also makes me believe that he WILL be OK, somehow, some way. Because this is a story about hope, and it’s a pretty miserable end for one of their central characters if he just dies, believing he can’t have love. So he’ll be back, and he’ll have all the love he can handle.