@MysteryKat I always like to post after you because I feel like I don’t have to actually write anything – I can just point and smile at your post.
Totally agree with what you said.
@PriceOfMagic – *waving hello* I’m the “older” shipper in the group. I think that a lot of it comes down to what MysteryKat mentioned, everyone has their personal preference in terms of what they find attractive in a mate and what they find off-putting so it’s difficult to try to explain why the CS shippers see one thing when the SF shippers see something else.
Personally, I see only confidence in Killian when he told Emma that he would win her heart. I happen to find overtly confident men extremely attractive – but there is a huge difference between a man who is extremely confident and a guy who is enamored with himself the way Gaston is. And I think a lot of women often think that extremely confident men do not treat women well when I find that to be exactly the opposite case. Men who are exceedingly confident typically treat women like queens because they don’t have any reason to feel threatened by them. Men who are truly confident don’t need to hide behind any kind of mask so they can be very direct, honest, and open with people – which is exactly what Killian was doing when he told Emma that she needs to make a choice. Honestly confident men don’t need to drag a woman down to make themselves feel better – they know who they are on their own. But that doesn’t mean that they aren’t vulnerable and that they don’t have a need for someone in their life who can help them be a better person.
This is where I think Emma and Killian are a good match. I think Emma is a very strong and confident woman but I think she has pockets of herself and her life that she doesn’t know how to navigate very well because of her past. And I think when things get uncomfortable for Emma she tends to shut down instead of facing things unless she is forced to face them. In order to learn to navigate those areas of her life and face uncomfortable situations head on I think she needs someone who is equally as strong and confident as she is who can call her out when she starts to shut down. This takes someone who isn’t afraid to get in her face (literally – Killian literally walks right into her personal space) because he knows that she understands that she is safe with him and that she can trust him. It takes someone who has absolute belief in her abilities so she can be built up when she starts to doubt herself.
Emma has had all of these people in her life who were supposed to protect her who haven’t done their job. Her parents – the people you count on take care of your basic needs sent her away and orphaned her (as well intentioned as they may have been), August left her alone in the orphanage to go off on his own adventure instead of watching over her and making sure she stayed on the right path, Neal abandoned her and left her by herself when she was a pregnant teenager (even though he didn’t know he was doing it). Emma still doesn’t believe she can count on anyone. She needs someone to be intentional and direct in proving to her that she can count on him. That means he has to actually DO things to show her she can count on him – proving that he never lies to her, returning to Storybrook, finding a cure for her father, telling the truth about Neal, ALWAYS allowing her to be the one to have a choice since she has rarely been allowed to have choices, and being confident in showing her that he means it when he says he is fighting for her.
I think any of the ridiculous behavior on BOTH Killian and Neal’s parts was actually put in the episode to prove that there was a reason that Killian was telling Emma that she DOES need to hear that she needs to make a choice – even if the time to make the choice is not right now. Which is why he made the comment about the fact that they weren’t fighting over a lighter. He was saying that until she makes a choice dumb behavior like that will continue to happen because they are two guys fighter over the same girl – she is the only one who has the ability to stop it. This is EXACTLY one of those scenarios that Killian knows Emma does not EVER like to deal with so he is calling her out on it. But he is also trying to help her out. Her knows her well and knows that sometimes all the worry you put into making a decision is worse than actually making the decision itself. So he reminds her that real fun begins after she saves Henry and makes her choice – because he IS confident that HE is the best choice for her.
Again, it’s so hard to “see” things through another ship. My hubby is an extremely confident guy who I was initially attracted to because of his confidence but then I fell in love with him because of the confidence he had in me. That is exactly what is see in CS so I am completely baffled when people say that a guy like Killian is a horrible example for ABC to be showing Emma with because young girls will think that is the kind of guy they should go after and it’s a horrible message to send. My husband treats me like a queen and is not cocky or Gaston-like at all.
But he did tell me he was going to marry me on our first date. Of course we had already known each other for 5 years. But, oddly enough, when he told me that – I believed him. Ends up he was right!!