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I love this podcast. Let me say that again: I LOVE THIS PODCAST.
It’s a great in-depth analysis that’s fun and I’ve met a lot of great people here, both in the livechats and the forums. I feel like I belong because I am surrounded by other Oncers who are as passionate about the show as I am.
That being said, I’ve been noticing some things lately with the shipping wars, especially in the livechat, and that saddens me greatly. It used to be a lot of fun and it’s It’s supposed to be fun. We’re a Oncer family, let’s act like it! If it continues until the ships are sorted out, which could take awhile, I may have to resort to mostly listen/watch and only comment occasionally.
It’s getting kinda ridiculous. We should be capable of having conversations without bringing everybody else down for what they love. I would hate for anyone to stop feeling like they can comment in the livechat for fear of people jumping down their throats. I used to love seeing how everybody reacted to various things! People get excited about different stuff and point out things I never would have noticed or taken them in a way I never would have thought of. That’s what fandoms do and I love it! I’ve never been this passionate or excited about a show and the more I learn from everyone else about what they’re seeing? The more I love it!
Loving that aspect shouldn’t also have to mean listening to the hatred or, most especially, the rudeness toward people who like something you don’t. We all love (and hate) different things and *usually* we get along fairly well. Sadly shipping wars have been clouding people’s minds (not directed at ANY individual and / or fans of any particular characters or ships) but that doesn’t make it OK for certain things to happen.
So here are a few things I feel like have been overlooked lately (mostly in the livechat – I’ve noticed that those active in the forums stay away from threads that will upset them or say their peace and go elsewhere):
1) Love what you love, hate what you hate but know that SOMEBODY in the fandom, probably someone here, even if they’re lurking, loves it.
2) Not wanting something to happen? Does NOT = it won’t happen. Stop telling people things are facts or are impossible just because you don’t want them to happen. Likewise don’t tell people that things have been proven on the show when they haven’t – it gets hopes up (or down) and is inaccurate. This podcast is great about making sure we know what we have or haven’t seen YET and is a great place for clarification on those pesky details. Don’t undermine that.
3) Pointing out that we haven’t seen something proven on the show does not mean that you are starting a shipper war. It means you want official reasons to get behind something 100%. This is not a crime and not everything is said with shipping goggles on. We are free to speculate on whatever we wish until given a reason ON THE SHOW not to. With how many twists and turns they throw us, it’s better to be safe than sorry. (Look at how sure Daniel was on a theory that he offered a bet on a drink he hates! He was still wrong (at least partially so, enough to warrant still having to drink coffee), so let’s keep in mind that it can happen to anyone, shall we?)
4) Telling someone to “get over” their pairing, favorite character, whatever it is (especially when there is nothing on screen to PROVE 100% it can’t happen) is rude and unnecessary.
5) We are NEVER going to love and hate the same things. Be respectful of fellow Oncers, even if they don’t agree with you. It’s ok to agree without being disagreeable and debate away! Interesting things are brought up in discussion. We can argue something until we’re blue in the face and remain on opposite sides, but it’s far more helpful to understand where the other person is coming from than it is to put them down constantly for not agreeing with what you see as obvious before it’s been proven so on the show.
6) Shipping a pair you don’t agree with does NOT make the other person “delusional” – I have heard this many times lately. Some pairings may be more likely than others, but there are definite signs on the show be it quotes, parallels, camera angles, choices, whatever it may be that led that person to thinking there was something there. Nobody wants to ship something only to have their heart broken by it! Nobody wants to be outnumbered and attacked. We ship what we ship because we see something there and love it. That does not make us “delusional,” it makes us passionate about what we love and yes, sometimes defensive. But when we’re being attacked (and by attacked I specifically do NOT mean disagreeing with you, but rather, being called names, told to get over it, etc, etc), can you really blame us?
7) It would be really easy and nice if we were only surrounded by people who love the same things as us, but that is NEVER going to happen. Everyone is entitled to be excited for moments that point them to believe in their favorite character / ship, etc, just as they are entitled to hate any moment etc. That does not mean that one can jump for joy and then try to silence others from doing the same just because it conflicts with what you want to have happen. With as much stuff as we theorize on, there will always be twists we don’t see coming. Always.
8) THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE FUN: If you’re not having fun watching the show, podcast, live-chatting etc, then this probably isn’t the right place to be. If you’re not having fun, why spoil it for others, bring everyone else down, and/or waste your time? It’s perfectly OK to be upset with something on the show. The constant hatred brings it down though and it’s hard to say how much you love someone when you know people are going to jump down your throat for it.
Just my 2 cents but very frustrated right now watching the Oncer family fall apart at the end of the season. We’re all burned out and fried. Goodness knows they tried to throw moments in for pretty much every pairing and all shippers have their own reasons to believe in their ships, however likely or unlikely they may be. But until something is officially shown to us or proven in a way that fits within the mythology of the show in the same way they’ve shown it to us for other pairings, then
STOP WITH THE SHIPPING WARS ALREADY!
[adrotate group="5"]Keeper of Hook's Trenchcoat.
Obisgirl’s and Kat’s post are both excellent. And what they said applies to the show as a whole, not just the shipping. If a character isn’t your cup of tea, that’s perfectly fine but please remember that someone else out there *loves* that character and you should respect that. Respectful thoughtful dialogue/debate/conversation is one thing. Outright attacking that person or the character is another.
"He was a lot of things to me" "The only conclusion was love"@RumplesGirl wrote:
Obisgirl’s and Kat’s post are both excellent. And what they said applies to the show as a whole, not just the shipping. If a character isn’t your cup of tea, that’s perfectly fine but please remember that someone else out there *loves* that character and you should respect that. Respectful thoughtful dialogue/debate/conversation is one thing. Outright attacking that person or the character is another.
Amen and a cup of tea, girls. 😆
Keeper of: Hook's eyebrow action, Emma's eye-rolls, David's sarcasm, Snow's "She's kind of out of town" to Tiny, and Rumple's "Not telling."
Kat, I totally agree all of your above guidelines and advice. I hope everyone takes the time to read it over.
Totally agree with you guys- I’ve not being going on live chat because of all the shipping hate that pops up (I almost have a pathological need to fight for the underdog, so better I don’t go near those places anymore lol). Here’s hoping things settle during the break & we start S3 fresh with less hate & more tolerance!
It really bothers me when people say they want a character dead. It’s one thing to say you are not a fan of a character and don’t care to see them on the show. It’s another thing to wish them dead- particularly when there are others who are actually quite fond of said character.
@AngieBelle wrote:
It really bothers me when people say they want a character dead. It’s one thing to say you are not a fan of a character and don’t care to see them on the show. It’s another thing to wish them dead- particularly when there are others who are actually quite fond of said character.
Agreed. It’s the reason I no longer lurk at ONCE’s TWoP forum, there’s too much character bashing there. 😡
@obisgirl wrote:
Um, what is “TWoP ❓ “
Television Without Pity. Didn’t think there were people who didn’t know that site, sorry. 🙂
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