A note about ‘shipping wars, this needs to be said.

[obisgirl]

yeah, I know how you feel RG.

[Cinders]

I’m going to add from the perspective of a non shipper. Sometimes it’s just plain awkward. Sometimes you folks get a little obsessive and overprotective. Like you’re gripping the helm too tightly.

The seas are rocky at the moment, but they are vast and mighty. Beautiful and glorious. Sometimes a sailor just needs to relax, enjoy the sunshine, and see where the seas take them. There’s room for everyone on the mighty seas.

I love your ships, they’re lovely. I read all the shipping threads, as do many other non shippers. The ships I find most enjoyable are those that prefer to sail on calm waters. Those who are not overly obsessive or fanatic. I read them all. In your threads, and in our chat.

But every once in a while I see battleships on the horizon and for us non shippers it’s just awkward. And might I add, a little bit boring and extremely repetitive.

[obisgirl]

I’m going to add from the perspective of a non shipper. Sometimes it’s just plain awkward. Sometimes you folks get a little obsessive and overprotective. Like you’re gripping the helm too tightly. The seas are rocky at the moment, but they are vast and mighty. Beautiful and glorious. Sometimes a sailor just needs to relax, enjoy the sunshine, and see where the seas take them. There’s room for everyone on the mighty seas.

OMG, I love this philosophy. It’s really beautiful.  Adam and Eddie are writing a story guys, the ‘ships part is really secondary to that and it is first and foremost, a fandom thing just like fanfiction, fan art, forums even.

[HappyEndings]

I’m going to add from the perspective of a non shipper. Sometimes it’s just plain awkward. Sometimes you folks get a little obsessive and overprotective. Like you’re gripping the helm too tightly.

I too am a non shipper and again this is well put thanks Cinder 🙂

But every once in a while I see battleships on the horizon and for us non shippers it’s just awkward. And might I add, a little bit boring and extremely repetitive.

Thank you, Thank you, and I totally agree.

[obisgirl]

No one should be treated badly just because they disagree with you. I have seen some comments between swanfires and captain Swan shippers and I find it so strange. It reminds me of disagreements in kindergarten about what color was best.

I agree. and I love this analogy too. Lol.

No one will ever be right, because it is an opinion of a person, you may not agree, but it is not wrong.

Exactly. People should also not be shut down for expressing their opinions either.

[CrownedWithLaurels]

From my little corner and my point of view, I have found certain people of different beliefs and opinions very enjoyable to discuss things with. It has been a pleasure to discuss even the spoiler with. This may sound extremely sad or even judgmental, but for the most part, I have found the chat to be extremely open in discussion; unless there are a handful of particular people in there who like to cause trouble. I realize that that may as well be in the eye of the beholder. When I mean trouble I don’t mean saying  “YAY CS!” or “YAY SF!” and being giddy and people get offended over that. No, I’m talking about people who actually insult and pretty much take up the entire chat for themselves. I can see people in the chat talk about CS all day. It really doesn’t bother me. And I pray that if there are two talking about SF in the chat that people can see that as non threatening. Because it’s not. To think otherwise is just immature.
I think we have to pick our battles. If we go into the chat or on a thread and see actual bullying or insulting, then we ALL need to come together– whether they ship who you ship or not— and say something. I’m really tired of seeing people stick so close to their shipping that they get on to the victim of the bullying rather than the bullier. I’ve seen people who call out some for being rude&mean be attacked and accused of doing that because they ship opposite ships. Sometimes that is the case, and the person is overreacting. Sometimes it’s not. Sometimes people are just sick of the rude& mean behavior and it has nothing to do with the ship.

That is where the problems lie; with certain people who attack and don’t discuss.  And yes, shipping tension exacerbates the problem. I don’t think it’s the majority of this site at all.

There are just certain people I know I shouldn’t be in the chat with. Not because I won’t like what they have to say, or they ship someone different than me. But because they constantly insult others. And if I stay too long, I’ll get upset– not at the shipping, at the attitudes.

So that is what I think is the underlying thing here. It’s really people who refuse to use tact and be respectful, period. Shipping has just determined whose side you choose. It’s sad.

I just want to say, SK, you are one of my favorite CSers to read and chat with. You are always respectful and I actually am happy when I see you’re on the chat. There are others like that too. Obviously I know everyone in  here who ships SF but I really don’t know who all ships CS.

 

Just on a positive note, It’s really the best when there’s a room full of SFers and 2 CSers come on and are giddy over something or say something about CS and *gasp* nothing happens. And vice versa. It’s the best feeling in the world. And it happens ALL THE TIME. Which is why I have a hard time understanding people who jump down someone’s throat for mentioning ships in the chat. Not a ship discussion. Just saying “Oh like Hook and Emma.” or “oh like Emma and Neal” or something… that shouldn’t cause a war.  It can be done… we expect things to blow up, and rightfully so. Things have. But I really have had some amazingly positive experiences that have shaped my view of Once and the shipping world. Maybe I’m just a positive person. But … anyway…

Sorry for the ranting, but those are my two cents…. 🙂

Keeper Nealfire's/Bae's scarf, Henry and Neal's bribery ice cream sundae, Baelfire's sword, the coconut map, and more.

[kfchimera]

Crowned–yes!
The problem runs both ways. We all have our favorite characters, and its not really just about shipping.  Some people enjoy discussion and debate, others want to just avoid a contrary thought–others see contrary thoughts even if they aren’t intended to be (how else do I understand someone saying I disagree, when I was agreeing with them?).   I know some people really have the “I love my shipmates and will defend them” attitude–but I confess I don’t love my shipmates in that exclusive way, even have trouble with the term of declaring myself a shipper in full.  I just sometimes am in the mood to talk to people who see the same things in the story, and I love that they can be silly with me in that same way.   I stay out of chat if its a conversation that’s too much on a topic that I know my opinion would be too discordant to express.   Sometimes I dive in but I’m trying to gauge who actually wants to hear different opinions and who doesn’t.  Sometimes I just want to be silly and break tension.  Fandom should be fun so we have to respect we may have different ideas of what that means.

We are people, fans of the show, not representatives of our ships.

“If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see?” -- Lewis Carroll, Alice's Adventures in Wonderland & Through the Looking-Glass

[obisgirl]

Sometimes I dive in but I’m trying to gauge who actually wants to hear different opinions and who doesn’t. Sometimes I just want to be silly and break tension. Fandom should be fun so we have to respect we may have different ideas of what that means. We are people, fans of the show, not representatives of our ships.

Omg, I could not have said it better.  I think this is something we’ve all forgotten about.  I used to feel very comfortable, going between the general discussion threads, reading other people’s theories and responding to stuff like that.  But with ‘ships basically taking over the forum, I don’t really do that anymore because I know, inevitably, it turns bad.

We’re ‘shippers first before fans of the show and as much as I love my ‘ships, I’m foremost a fan of the show and I am genuinely interested what’s going in the over all story.  I mean, regardless of your ‘ship sails or not, I find it ridiculous to simply drop watching the show altogether.  (I get disappointed when the story or show gets cancelled before you even get to the real story).

I know we’re all fans but it seems, here at least, ‘shipper fandom takes precedence over fandom unity and that’s really sad.  It wasn’t always like that.

[Ranisha Pitts]

I agree I liked this page because its seems to be free of the shipping wars and its well contained. The mods are great at defusing the situation. And I generally love the chat area where we can have fun and enjoy each other as Oncers, all shipping aside. Honestly I just miss the mirth, warmth, and humor of S1 we all shared, the bowls of soup and the my peach jokes. I loved for us to try and focus on that at least in chat. We can keep all the other stuff to our respective threads.

Big hugs to all Oncers!

"I will be kind but I will speak my mind."

[obisgirl]

things were so nice in season one when we were just getting used to the show in general and each other and coming up with awesome theories, without a lot of ‘shipper talk.  it used to be so nice to come to the forums and talk about what’s going on. now, most of the time, I feel like I have to censor myself to avoid conflict.

[Author]

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