A note about ‘shipping wars, this needs to be said.

[MatthewPaul]

things were so nice in season one when we were just getting used to the show in general and each other and coming up with awesome theories, without a lot of ‘shipper talk. it used to be so nice to come to the forums and talk about what’s going on. now, most of the time, I feel like I have to censor myself to avoid conflict.

And that’s because neither Neal nor Hook were introduced till Season 2, who started the most fierce of shipping wars. Back in Season 1, we cared about Emma’s journey of becoming the savior and bonding with her son Henry. Personally, I’ve always just left it up to the show to decide how the relationships evolve. In the case of Emma, I’m going to leave it up to her as a character to decide how her life unfolds, and who she chooses to be with. I’ve never been one to challenge the creators of the show on what ships should become endgame, as it is their story first and foremost. We the fans are integral to the show, but who are we to tell them how to write their own stories just because we support a couple that much? Another reason I avoid ships is because I really feel people get so into it that they don’t get the opportunity to focus on the rest of the show. As for those who do take into this aspect of the fandom, I respect you as long as you remain respectful to everyone else in regards to who they do ship.

[Josephine]

It would just be so much easier if everything was all Rumple all the time. 😀

*hides from RG’s flying fish*

This new death spoiler isn’t helping matters at all. Sometimes also, the SF fans feel this our only safe haven in fandom. Tumblr is no longer enjoyable because people don’t know how to tag and every other site seems to be staunchly anti-Neal. So sometimes we do congregate in chat in larger numbers because we don’t exist anywhere else. But even I try not to even talk about Emma anymore because everyone goes wild. I will say there are some CS fans I do enjoy chatting with that can take a joke and don’t mind joking back.

But, I do think it might be time to ban all shipping in chat. Even my beloved Rumbelle who I do go on and on and on about. It’s an etreme measure but we’re only halfway through the hiatus and stress is already high. Just think how it will be in another month.

I don’t know. There is really no easy solution. My only advice is if certain people come info chat you don’t want to talk to and know you’ll fight with then leave. You shouldn’t be chased off but we’re all adults and sometimes the best thing to do is walk away and remember that it’s just a television show. Nothing more. A TV show.

Keeper of Rumplestiltskin's and Neal's spears and war paint and crystal ball.

[obisgirl]

Tumblr is no longer enjoyable because people don’t know how to tag and every other site seems to be staunchly anti-Neal.

 

I generally, I don’t have a problem with tumblr.  There’s apps to block stuff you don’t want to see, like tumblr savior (yes, that’s the actual name) and xkit, something that always has cool apps for things.

 

Sometimes also, the SF fans feel this our only safe haven in fandom.

 

It may feel like that to you guys, because there’s more SF ‘shippers here but for us CS ‘shippers, it doesn’t feel like a safe haven anymore because we ARE the minority.

 

I love the podcast and I love the forums but for most of us CS ‘shippers, sometimes, it feels like this site solely exists for an elite group (SF ‘shippers) instead of all of us as a group of Oncers.  It’s sad to read the occasional thread, of someone leaving the forums because he or she doesn’t feel welcome.  This is a forum for all Oncers and it doesn’t feel like home anymore for a small group of us.

 

But even I try not to even talk about Emma anymore because everyone goes wild.

 

Emma’s a hot button issue because she is the center of two big ‘ships right now.

 

I will say there are some CS fans I do enjoy chatting with that can take a joke and don’t mind joking back.

 

It’s nice that you’ve been getting along with some of my ‘shipmates.  I’m scared to even make a joke because there’s always that one person from the other side who won’t see it as a joke, but as an insult. So, I censor myself. I want to be able to express my opinions and be open with you guys but I can’t do that. So, I talk around the ‘ships stuff to avoid fights.

 

I’m glad the CSF thread is gone and banished into the forum oblivion but things around here haven’t gotten any better since it’s been gone.

 

But, I do think it might be time to ban all shipping in chat.

 

I’m open for this and even add an additional suggestion, if ‘ships talk can be banned in the live chat as well. I was in the chat last night and even though, it was a small crowd, I had to type out to reminders, “Hey, there are people here who CS ‘shippers, and to be considerate of us too.”

 

You shouldn’t be chased off but we’re all adults and sometimes the best thing to do is walk away and remember that it’s just a television show. Nothing more. A TV show.

 

I agree.

[RumplesGirl]

It may feel like that to you guys, because there’s more SF ‘shippers here but for us CS ‘shippers, it doesn’t feel like a safe haven anymore because we ARE the minority.

I think what Jo means is that while you might be a minority HERE on this site, you are not the minority in the fandom. Hence why so many SFers keep flocking to our site because it feels safer here than on other sites were SFers aren’t treated fairly.

And actually when I look at numbers, there are just as many regular CSers as there are SFers positing in threads. The difference is CHAT not the actual forum. There *are* more regular SF chatters. But I don’t know how to solve that. I don’t care who I’m talking to, I just like talking.

I’m scared to even make a joke because there’s always that one person from the other side who won’t see it as a joke, but as an insult. So, I censor myself. I want to be able to express my opinions and be open with you guys but I can’t do that. So, I talk around the ‘ships stuff to avoid fights.

And to be fair, I’d love to make jokes as well but there are some people on the other side who will come down on me for it. So I censor myself as well. I want to be able to express myself as well, but this isn’t a one sided issue

Actually, I find that I can’t say ANYTHING. A lot of times I put headcanons or theories I’ve come up with solely in the SF thread with the caveat “I can’t post this generally cause I know how it will be taken.” I have to be Switzerland so much that I can’t make a post with theories I’ve come up with because maybe they’re slightly skewed toward a ship. And I don’t want to start a war.

I’m glad the CSF thread is gone and banished into the forum oblivion but things around here haven’t gotten any better since it’s been gone.

That’s because we can have open and honest discussions about how things are wrong but the second people leave this page it’s “I’m right; you’re wrong” and when you insult X character or Y ship then people get offended.

It’s exactly what Matt said. We take it too seriously. Way too seriously.

I’m open for this and even add an additional suggestion, if ‘ships talk can be banned in the live chat as well.

I’ve been considering it and it’s something Matt Daniel and I need to talk about

If we ban ship talk–then it’s ALL ships. SF, CS, Rumbelle, Snowing, OutlawQueen, Crackships, ALL SHIPS. We have to be fair and that’s why we haven’t banned it yet.

 

"He was a lot of things to me" "The only conclusion was love"

[obisgirl]

obisgirl wrote: I’m scared to even make a joke because there’s always that one person from the other side who won’t see it as a joke, but as an insult. So, I censor myself. I want to be able to express my opinions and be open with you guys but I can’t do that. So, I talk around the ‘ships stuff to avoid fights.

And to be fair, I’d love to make jokes as well but there are some people on the other side who will come down on me for it. So I censor myself as well. I want to be able to express myself as well, but this isn’t a one sided issue Actually, I find that I can’t say ANYTHING. A lot of times I put headcanons or theories I’ve come up with solely in the SF thread with the caveat “I can’t post this generally cause I know how it will be taken.” I have to be Switzerland so much that I can’t make a post with theories I’ve come up with because maybe they’re slightly skewed toward a ship. And I don’t want to start a war.

I really commend you @RumplesGirl for being an awesome moderator.  I know it can’t be easy for you to diffuse stuff when it happens. You’re awesome, a great friend and a lovely person.

obisgirl wrote: I’m open for this and even add an additional suggestion, if ‘ships talk can be banned in the live chat as well.

I’ve been considering it and it’s something Matt Daniel and I need to talk about If we ban ship talk–then it’s ALL ships. SF, CS, Rumbelle, Snowing, OutlawQueen, Crackships, ALL SHIPS. We have to be fair and that’s why we haven’t banned it yet.

I understand that. We have to fair to everyone. Everyone has to agree to it too, if you guys decide to go forward with it.

[CrownedWithLaurels]

My only advice is if certain people come info chat you don’t want to talk to and know you’ll fight with then leave. You shouldn’t be chased off but we’re all adults and sometimes the best thing to do is walk away and remember that it’s just a television show. Nothing more. A TV show.

 

That’s what I’ve been doing. In reality there is only a couple people I don’t get along with no matter who they ship, and that has nothing to do with shipping (as I said in my post on the previous page), it has to do with them just being rude people in general. Otherwise, I’ve had a positive experience in the chat with all shippers and discussions. Self control and self-regulation goes a long way. If someone who rubs you the wrong way is in the chat, wait a few and return in a little bit to see if they’re gone. It’s better for everyone. I think it’s better to try than banning all ship talk… The thing is, most of the offenses come from just mentioning a name, like someone said, and not even being mean. Not being like “SF STINKS!” or “CS STINKS!” The offenses always come from just the mention of someone’s NAME, which is really sad. I hate to keep saying this, but usually, the ones who get offended by those little things are the ones who are actually rude to others and do say mean and insulting things in the chat… I’ve been watching very closely and it’s really not as widespread as I think it appears sometimes. It’s the fact that when those petty things happen, we go to the side of our ships instead of to the side of the person who is being bullied or being talked down to.

I know there’s also no way to completely obliterate all tension in the chat. With people from all over the world and all walks of life, there’s bound to be something. But I think lately all the strife has been resolved relatively quickly.
As KFC said in the previous page, misunderstandings happen… we’ve both had people get offended thinking we disagree when we were really trying to say we agree!!! haha! But I think a lot of that happens because we have these automatic perceptions about people based on who they ship. We automatically think they’re going to disagree with everything so we expect the worst. On the flip side, both sides think they can’t say anything or even mention a name because they’re afraid of how others will react, when in reality, we’re all just wanting to have fun and not make a big deal about everything and accept that others have different opinions! *whew* that’s exhausting.

Bottom line, we all want the same thing. <3 If we side with decency and politeness, in the midst of rude or impolite behavior, we'll all win.

Keeper Nealfire's/Bae's scarf, Henry and Neal's bribery ice cream sundae, Baelfire's sword, the coconut map, and more.

[obisgirl]

You know what we should have on this site and if we already have this somewhere, it needs to be more visible, guidelines for behavior and conduct.  I have an account on fanforum and there is a zero tolerance policy when it comes to ‘ship or character bashing. I think they have a 3 strikes rule.  Once you get to a third warning, automatic banning.  Anti-hate threads are not even allowed.

I’m not suggesting we follow 3 strikes that but we need guidelines somewhere to remind people to be polite with each other.

[RumplesGirl]

You know what we should have on this site and if we already have this somewhere, it needs to be more visible, guidelines for behavior and conduct. I have an account on fanforum and there is a zero tolerance policy when it comes to ‘ship or character bashing. I think they have a 3 strikes rule. Once you get to a third warning, automatic banning. Anti-hate threads are not even allowed. I’m not suggesting we follow 3 strikes that but we need guidelines somewhere to remind people to be polite with each other.

I’ve been contemplating writing a giant THESE ARE THE RULES post.

Let me check with Daniel and Matt with some stuff and I’ll see what i can do.

We do have a strike rule and Matt and I use it at our discretion. We can also block people on chat if need be for certain periods of time.

 

"He was a lot of things to me" "The only conclusion was love"

[obisgirl]

Cool.

[Grimmsister]

obisgirl wrote: I’m scared to even make a joke because there’s always that one person from the other side who won’t see it as a joke, but as an insult. So, I censor myself.

Please dont.. I cant tell you what to doo ofcourse, but I would hope people didnt find the need to censor themselves. First of all we are on a webside, its not like the computer screen is gonna start fistfighting us or anything.. I find that if people are A-holes, or their getting upset that you have a different view then them, just saying something nice to them- like- “I understand where your coming from but I feel like this” or something, that, that generally defuses them.

 what Matt said. We take it too seriously. Way too seriously.

yep thats most likely it 🙂 people are so very passionate about their most loved characters.

obisgirl wrote: , if ‘ships talk can be banned in the live chat as well.

I’ve been considering it and it’s something Matt Daniel and I need to talk about If we ban ship talk–then it’s ALL ships. SF, CS, Rumbelle, Snowing, OutlawQueen, Crackships, ALL SHIPS. We have to be fair and that’s why we haven’t banned it yet.

I dont think you should ban any ship-talk anywhere. I really dont get in to many of the ship-discussions or arguments because to speak frankly, as I am trying to promote here, I really find ship talk a bit boring. But I respect that people wanna talk about them. People will always have different views on all sorts of topics, I believe its not the best course of action to start banning how they choose to share their views, even IF this is only a website about a tvshow, banning simple talk, is some dangerous waters to get into (waters that will rock our ship 😉 he! that one just had to get out)

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