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Henry: I just thought, you owe me eleven years worth of birthday presents.
Neal: Well you owe me eleven years of Father’s day presents.
Emma: Yeah well you owe me eleven years of Mother’s day and birthday presents!
Rumple: Stop it, Dearie, you’re embarrassing yourself.
Emma: Well it’s true!
Hook: ATTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!!!
Rumple: OW!
Hook: This is for Milah, Crocodile!
Rumple: It’s been three hundred years, get over it!
Hook: I can’t believe you just said that!
Emma: Take that!
Emma: Are you okay?
Rumple: What do you think?
Neal: What’s going on?
Emma: The attractive pirate in the black leather coat that I have great chemistry with but pretend I don’t just stabbed your father in the chest. Awww look, he’s spending some time with the floor again. I think there’s something going on with those too.Rumple: Emma, focus! I’m bleeding to death here!
Neal: It’s not that bad, there’s hardly any blood.
Rumple: Hardly any blood? I’ve just been stabbed in the chest!
Emma: Oh I get it. This is man pain.[adrotate group="5"]All magic comes with a price!
Keeper of Felix
Snow: Blue Fairy! Blue Fairy!
Blue Fairy: I’m here, ready to help.
Charming: Were you just randomly waiting outside your convent for us?
Blue Fairy: Maybe.
Emma: So how’s the man pain?
Rumple: It’s not man pain, it’s actual agonising pain.
Emma: Spoken like a true man. Remember that time where you insisted on limping around for several hours.
Neal: I’d stubbed my toe, it was painful.All magic comes with a price!
Keeper of FelixI love Charming’s comment to the BF about randomly waiting outside the convent to help them! Sneaky fairy!
"That’s how you know you’ve really got a home. When you leave it, there’s this feeling that you can’t shake. You just miss it." Neal Cassidy
Emma: Why can’t I just have a nice normal day without all the drama?
Henry: You might want to read this text from Grandpa.
Emma: Okay,Gold, I’ve got some good news and some bad news. The good news is you might not be in pain much longer.
Rumple: What’s the bad news?
Emma: You might die soon.
Rumple: Really? What was your first clue?
Emma: Now is not the time for sarcasm!
Emma: It seems Cora is after some magical dagger of yours. You need to tell my parents where it is so they can find it before Cora does.
Emma: If Cora finds it first because you wouldn’t tell my parents where it was then you will have to deal with the consequences. Are you even listening to me?
Emma: Fine! I know a song that’ll get on your nerves, get on your nerves, get on your nerves, I know a song that’ll get on your nerves, all day long.
Rumple: And I thought this day couldn’t get any worse, your singing is terrible.
Emma: You’ve just earned yourself ten more verses.All magic comes with a price!
Keeper of Felix
Emma: The attractive pirate in the black leather coat that I have great chemistry with but pretend I don’t just stabbed your father in the chest. Awww look, he’s spending some time with the floor again. I think there’s something going on with those too.Rumple: Emma, focus! I’m bleeding to death here!
LOL.
(As if anyone takes any notice)
Charming: Rumplestiltskin locked the door this time and cast an anti-intrusion barrier spell. We need you Blue Fairy, you’re our only hope.
Snow: We could just put a brick through the window with a message wrapped round it.
Blue Fairy: Bibbity-bobbity-boo
Snow: Is that it?
Blue Fairy: Ow, my hand!
Blue Fairy: Curse you, Rumplestiltskin and your competent spellcasting.
Charming: You know, what with you being the “original power” and all, I thought you’d be a bit more…..powerful?
Blue Fairy: Don’t even go there, Charming!
Blue Fairy: my hand hurts.
Charming: You agree with me, don’t you Snow, my darling, love of my life?
Snow: I’m still a little mad about your dalliance with the floor, Charming.
Snow: But he does have a point, you aren’t able to help out unless it’s convenient.
Blue Fairy: How can you say that?
Snow: If this was a television show, people might start to think you were just a plot device.
Blue Fairy: I am deeply offended by that comment!
Snow: I’m just saying, that’s all.
Charming: Emma, your mother’s just got into an argument with the Blue Fairy. What’s that? Rumple told you where his magical dagger that can control him and kill him is? Great, where is it? It’s in the clock tower? Tied to the clock hands? Nobody would ever think to look for it there! Where am I? I’m in the middle of the street. Don’t worry, it’s not like Cora and Regina are maybe listening as I said all the information about the dagger’s location out loud.All magic comes with a price!
Keeper of Felix
Charming: I’ve found Rumple’s dagger! Now I can make him be my friend!
Snow: I’ll take that!
Charming: Fine, but just remember to say “Rumplestiltskin, I command thee to be Charming’s best friend forever and ever”.
Charming: Anytime you’re ready to say it.
Snow: I’m not saying it.
Regina: When are they going to notice us standing here, mother?
Cora: Any moment now, darling.
Snow: Cora and Regina!
Charming: How did they find us here?
Regina: You said everything out loud in the middle of the street, you idiot!
Cora: Thank you, Charming, it was most helpful. Now give us the dagger.
Snow: No.
Cora: Very well.
Cora: I have Johanna , Snow White. She’s one of your oldest friends that you’ve never mentioned before but she means so much to you.
Mrs Patmore: I’m not Johanna. I’m Mrs Patmore from Downton Abbey. I made you a sponge cake!
Cora: Ah yes, that sponge cake was divine.
Cora: Give me the dagger or I kill Mrs Patmore.
Snow: Nooooooooooooooooooooo, don’t kill Mrs Patmore!
Cora: Excellent, I have the dagger.
Cora: But I still think I’ll kill Mrs Patmore, I’ve been very bored today.
Snow: I’ll miss you Mrs Patmore. You were my favourite character on Downton Abbey.
Charming: If she had some fairy dust and a happy thought, she would’ve been fine.
Snow: Wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Regina: Well, I’m finding this all very awkward now so my mother and I will go now. Goodbye!All magic comes with a price!
Keeper of FelixLol! Brilliant! I crack up laughing every time I read these! PoM, you truely have a gift for coming up with these! :o)
Nothing is impossible on OUAT. Everything has a way of repeating itself. Keeper of the Keeper tread: https://oncepodcast.com/forums/topic/official-keeper-thread-3/#post-217924
Emma: I’m surprised your father gave up the location of his dagger so quickly.
Neal: Thank god he did.
Emma: Come on, my singing is not that terrible, is it?
Neal: Um…………………………
Neal: What’s this over here?
Emma: Really? You’d rather try and run away than tell me the truth?
Neal: Who says I was trying to run away?
Tamara: Neal!
Emma: Who’s this?
Tamara: How are you my cuddly wuddly pookie wookie bear?
Emma: Really? In public too?
Neal: Tamara, why do you insist on calling me that in front of people?
Tamara: You’ve not called me by my nickname, or introduced me to your friend!
Neal: Emma, this is my fiancée, Tamara.
Tamara: Say it!
Neal: She’s my snuggle wuggle bunny.
Tamara: Hi!
Emma: Hi.
Neal: Please don’t tell anyone about the nicknames.
Emma: Why would I do a thing like that, pookie?All magic comes with a price!
Keeper of Felix
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