Soul Mates and True Loves, Similarities, Differences, and what does it all mean.

[RumplesGirl]

(Regina is a good example of this. I have no doubt that she truly loved Daniel but when I researched Stable Queen as True Love, it was nearly impossible to find something concrete that labeled them as true love).

That’s because in-universe there is only one way to claim TL and that’s through TLK. Until you have TLK you might have all the trappings of TL but it will never be TRUE LOVE until you get a rainbow kiss. And for that to happen you need some sort of curse or magic. So Daniel and Regina may very well have been rainbow-kiss TL but we’ll never know because they didn’t get their TLK. What we do know is that Regina considered him her soul mate: “you think I can find ANOTHER soul mate.” But ah ah ah…Eddy just said it’s the one person you’re supposed to be with (to which Adam thought, “crap. that will cause a nightmare on Twitter. Best fix that post haste!” and then proceeded to magically handwave it away)

Also, you have to remember, Adam and Eddy write Once season to season. So it really should not be surprising that ideas and stories change. I don’t think Adam and Eddy had an idea to make Robin Hood Regina’s soulmate until they had writer’s summer camp when everyone came together to map out season three.

I absolutely understand that. But here’s the thing, what is more vital to this show than establishing a firm solid understanding of LOVE. Isn’t that what this show is: exploring love and hope and family? Why in the name of sanity didn’t they sit down on day on and say “this is true love. this is soul mates. work from this template for all relationships henceforth.” It is VITAL in critical thinking that you establish your definitions (and I know you know this because your TL meta does it in the first chapter!) but A and E didn’t do it and now with each passing arc, ship, or new couple on screen they fiddle around and come up with something that fits the new situation on screen but then seems to fly in the face of the history of the show.

[obisgirl]

Honestly, I feel like we should take a moratorium on this thread for awhile until we have more to go him. Because right now, I feel like it’s only going around in circles and this is page three.

[Ranisha Pitts]

I say Guinan is right, because its Whoopie and Star Trek. 😛

"I will be kind but I will speak my mind."

[Phee]

Why do many assume, that what A&E said, is a judgment about the quality of one or the other, that soulmate is the better, higher concept?

Because if there is only ONE of something in the entire universe, that makes it more rare, precious, valuable and irreplaceable. Therefore, one’s singular soulmate (apparently) ranks above one’s replaceable true love.

[Myril]

Because if there is only ONE of something in the entire universe, that makes it more rare, precious, valuable and irreplaceable. Therefore, one’s singular soulmate (apparently) ranks above one’s replaceable true love.

In my world nothing has to be rare to be precious and valuable. An 8-legged cockroach might be a very rare occurrence (a mutation) but I am very sure we never would find it more valuable because of that (though might bring a lot of money). Water I find highly valuable regardless (although as drinkable water it is becoming rare, such costing more and more money and is reason for wars; as well in form of a Tsunami the sudden huge amount is something to nevertheless run away from). Especially love should be something we give in full, excessively, there should be an abundance of love and not a shortage. That is honestly something I don’t understand with the concept of one true love. Does that mean that we humans are mostly not able to give true love or have no good reason to do so, but what does true love has to do with reason? Is true love some kind of rare stardust or so, which only a few can receive, or is it something we can create in us and have to nurture ourselves? Is it something we have or something we build? If we are so fixed on the idea, that there can be only one true love, aren’t we the ones limiting love and thus fulfilling our own prophecy?

I do get, why people assume, there was a hierarchy implied, based on their believes, but it was not what I heard, it was not said. It’s interpretation. The question was, what is the difference between true love and soulmate, it was not, is one better than the other.

I have a lot more headaches with OUaT’s world building concerning their use of magic than I have with the writers probably changing handle/views on true love concept. And did they? Because who is talking, the characters on the show for one, giving their views, ideas, opinion, but we shouldn’t confuse that with the writer’s views, ideas, opinion given in interviews. And views can change, we learn.

Just have heard an hour long live radio broadcast about polyamory, coincidence. One thing I noticed, that on the radio show there was a blurred understanding of love and just sex, like a man making plans for his wife to fulfill some of her sex dreams including other partners for a night – I would never call that polyamory though. On the other hand though wouldn’t say either, that a one-nighter never could as well involve feelings of love.

I find it very interesting to follow these discussions about true love and soulmate around the web in the OUaT fandom. I have struggled a while in my life to find any working definition of love for me, and I still have many questions when it comes to feelings for particular people in my life, not to mention the ongoing challenge to figure out, what that means, what I want a relationship to be, what it can be, the question what the other wants it to be.

I don’t feel much bothered by the question of true love or soulmate on the show nor what A&E have said. The love I feel is unique for each person, I never feel the same for anyone. That never makes any relations to a person per se more valuable than to another. The lines between romance, bff/ bromance, friendship and family are for me rather fluid, there is no general line for me, it is something I have to define with each and everyone individually, and it is something that can change over time. I have been in romantic love and relations of different extend and intensity with people of different gender (maybe that in theory I could be attracted to pretty much everyone makes a huge difference). I don’t believe in the concept of just one true romantic love in a lifetime, and not even in the idea of just one true romantic love at a time, I think there are many variations possible. It is society, which forms preferred views and behaviors and with that defines preferred expressions of love and preferred forms of it. One true love is an idea not a law of physics, and to me as a fundamental idea a rather limiting one. I am not saying, that happiness can only be found in open relationships, but neither would I ever agree, that happiness can only be found with loving only one person (and building a family with that person) – I think both is possible, and it depends on what each of us makes of it and is looking for. Some find one love in their life and that is their happiness, others fall in love with a number of people and their happiness was and is with each of them. Happiness is not a lasting end-product but something transient as a moment and a creation happening all over our lives (if we’re lucky).

True love is an activity, something we do, feel, soulmate is a label for a person. It’s in that sense not interchangeable but it is part of the same concept. The idea of love being more than mere lust and desire or biological need and urge to procreate. If you look into the history of the terms you will find Plato’s Symposium, and for soulmate the myth of the gods having split up humans into two halves, so now two people. But as well, in other believes, philosophies, cultures one can find it more in the sense of kindred spirits, so not limited to one other person, the notion of a closeness based on being like-minded, alike, or as well, being the complement to our selves. While soulmate is as much seen in connection of non-romantic relations, true love has become quite exclusively connected in our modern minds with romance, something maybe slowly changing now, crossing paths again with soulmate.

What I have so far and now again heard from the writers and seen on the show is: there is not only one true love in life (still debatable, depending on how you see some relationships), though maybe there is only one soulmate (what very much would be what the Greek myths is saying). One doesn’t exclude the other, but neither does one depend on the other. And feelings of people, and that includes love, are never carved in stone, unchangeable, but can change.

TLK is what makes to us, the audience a true love unmistakeably for the moment under specific circumstances visible, but that is it. It says nothing about the depth or quality of feelings between two people for all times. Neither does it tell, when it hasn’t happened (yet) between two people, if their relationship never ever can qualify as true love.

And just rewatched 3×03, the scene in the village taverne at lunch or tea time, when Tink told Regina, she can help people find love (!!), and Regina babbles something of soulmate (!!), Tink added, “the perfect match”, Regina’s “happy ending”- what Tink said sounded like the silly advertising of an online dating portal.

The pixie dust thing has become a bit of a story telling nightmare, they created themselves nearly a dead-end, although there are some explanations possible if OutlawQueen is failing.

I don’t know, I can’t tell, if A&E truly see a difference by now between true love and soulmate (the term was used for Snowings as well), want to make one by now, maybe they are that insecure and reacting to fans pushing for an answer, because I don’t think there was any need to make a difference. What I think is, they should do some training with a PR professional.

Edit: A show I think prompted much of the same questions was Xena – and in the fandom people as well gave some different answers.

¯\_(?????? ?)_/¯

[Jenna_B]

“Your mother, your partner and your child are all stuck in the same boat and it’s sinking.  Who do you save?  Your answer is how you know which person you love the most.”

Sound ridiculous, doesn’t it?  You love all three, in completely different ways, but it’s impossible to choose between the three.  (And yes, someone actually told me this, using it as a baseline for establishing relationships…yeah, he doesn’t do well interpersonally…)

As said, everyone’s interpretation of the concepts of true love and soul mates are going to be different; colored by their own personal experiences.  And two people, as we can see here, are going to hear literally the same words and have completely different interpretations and reactions to them.  Where some people have immense struggle with the definitions we’ve been given, I can’t help but look at it as just words.  Let’s look at Snowing, probably OUAT’s best example of Soul Mate as defined by most fans and the writers.  You may see them as the epitome of true love, the most rare kind of love, the thing to which we should all strive and hope to experience in life.  I look at them as completely co-dependent.  And I find myself wanting to ask those that are so pro-Snowing, if this is True Love, what is the love they have for their children?  Do they love them less?  ’cause if it does, it kinda sucks to be their kid.  You know, in addition to the whole, feeling abandoned for 28 years stuff in Emma’s case.

A&E can define what they want how they want, but when I watch the show, I see an incredible display of love in all it’s forms; none of which I find ‘better’ or ‘worse’ than the either.

[Epona_610]

I do get, why people assume, there was a hierarchy implied, based on their believes, but it was not what I heard, it was not said. It’s interpretation. The question was, what is the difference between true love and soulmate, it was not, is one better than the other. I have a lot more headaches with OUaT’s world building concerning their use of magic than I have with the writers probably changing handle/views on true love concept. And did they? Because who is talking, the characters on the show for one, giving their views, ideas, opinion, but we shouldn’t confuse that with the writer’s views, ideas, opinion given in interviews. And views can change, we learn.

I agree with that…I didn’t get the impression that anyone was saying that True Love and soulmates were types of relationships to be pitted against each other, with one being somehow better than the other. I guess I also see it as boiling down to differences in language, and language is often subjective. Love is an abstract concept after all, and it’s not like it has a concrete, universally accepted definition. People in real life talk about things like love and soulmates on a regular basis without having some sort of official definition; why can’t the characters do the same?

ETA: I was writing my post just as Jenna B was posting hers…so yeah, I agree with a lot of that one too! Ha 😉

[RumplesGirl]

A&E can define what they want how they want, but when I watch the show, I see an incredible display of love in all it’s forms; none of which I find ‘better’ or ‘worse’ than the either.

Of course I can make up my own mind and my own interpretation. But it doesn’t help when the creators aren’t even on the same page or are clearly making things up as they go along. Next arc, the definitions will change yet again leading to yet another round of “what do they mean?!?!?!”

Anyone who didn’t watch SDCC doesn’t give one iota about the difference between TL and SM on the show because they don’t know that the creators think there is a difference. We are not those people, sadly. And A and E keep changing their mind. So I don’t really care what they say it’s more that they clearly don’t have a solid unifying answer for themselves or their own show. If they gave me one answer then I would be free to judge their answer within the confines of the show and make my own conclusions. But they don’t do that. THAT is the issue. They’re flying by the seat of their pants from arc to arc, and it’s more than just TL and SM it’s ALL OF THE THINGS. This is just another example of “give an answer that will appease the most people possible and then cover our butts when we need to change”

"He was a lot of things to me" "The only conclusion was love"

[WickedRegal]

I think Adam and Eddy have always had the concept of Soul Mate and True Love, and their differences. It makes a lot of sense, and I’ve seen a lot of Oncers on Twitter, confused on which is more powerful….personally….Soul Mates are of a higher level than true love, and always have been.

True Love works through an intense love for someone…you love someone with your whole heart! That can be taken as parent to child(Regina/Emma & Henry), sibling to sibling(Elsa & Anna) or husband to wife(David & Snow)!

Whereas Soul Mate is strictly romantic category, and of a higher power. Because Soulmates are both True Love and Soul Mate, making them the most powerful duo! Now…until said so otherwise….Robin and Regina really are the only confirmed Soul Mates! And because David and Snow love each other as much as they do….we all know that Snow and David are the other only confirmed Soul Mates! Soul Mates don’t love with just their heart, they love with their entire soul.

Adam and Eddy did not say Rumple and Cora were soulmates, they said that they were kindred spirits who were much like soul mates! In my personal opinion, Rumple and Cora were very much in love…True Love! But Belle is more than likely Rumple’s soul mate, because she is someone he was DESTINED to be with! Just as Daniel and Regina were True Loves, but Robin was DESTINED to be with Regina. Although Marian may have been Robin’s true love…his soul mate is Regina.

Soul Mate deals with Destiny and Fate, whereas True Love deals with chance. You can have as many true loves as you want, but you can only have ONE Soul Mate.

Soul Mate is a combo effect of true love, and soul love….where as True Love is just love from the heart.

True Love will love each other to death….Soul Mate will love each other till the end of time….

In More Simpler Terms:
True Love: Any form of intense love you possess for someone…

Evidence: True Love’s Kiss

Soul Mate: The one person whom you were destined since birth to love…a love Fate itself arranged, and no matter what path you take, nine times out of ten, Fate will always bring you back to your soul mate!

Evidence: No matter what situation Snow and Charming found themselves in, Fate always worked around to bring them together again. Despite Regina running away from Robin Hood that night in the Tavern(More than 30+ years ago), Fate brought Robin back into Regina’s life twice! (In the EF and SB)

 

#SoulMate-Wins!

"If you go as far as you can see...you will then see enough to go even further." - Finn Balor

[Onyx]

So I don’t really care what they say it’s more that they clearly don’t have a solid unifying answer for themselves or their own show. If they gave me one answer then I would be free to judge their answer within the confines of the show and make my own conclusions. But they don’t do that. THAT is the issue. They’re flying by the seat of their pants from arc to arc, and it’s more than just TL and SM it’s ALL OF THE THINGS. This is just another example of “give an answer that will appease the most people possible and then cover our butts when we need to change”

I came into this thread planning on posting this ^ but RG already did it for me, so thank you.

For me, it’s becoming less about the TL/SM thing, and more about feeling that the show’s creators have no idea what they are doing. One doesn’t feel that one is watching a well structured piece of fiction.

I am mystified time and time again that these two do not have a solid idea beyond ‘I want Elsa on my show!’ ‘Wouldn’t it be cool if the Wicked Witch showed up and did this and this and this!’ A good tv series pays attention to the details, the foundation and the rules of its own universe. It’s the ‘we’ll see when we get there’ attitude that bothers me most about all of this. The very fact that they managed to be surprised to be asked about true loves and soul mates shows how invested they are in paying attention to the details.

True Love will love each other to death….Soul Mate will love each other till the end of time….

Lol, so Robin will be loving Marian until she dies again and Hook and Milah were soul mates because he kept on loving her 300 years after she died. Which in an average 80 y/o life could be viewed as an eternity.

My point is, everyone can have their definitions and through those definitions they can draw pretty much any conclusion they want in their own favour (or spin it to someone else’s disadvantage). Which is likely what people will be doing no matter what A&E say.

Co-Mayor of Sad Town | Twin of Co-Mayor of Sad Town

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