Soul Mates and True Loves, Similarities, Differences, and what does it all mean.

[WickedRegal]

I do agree with @RumplesGirl that about 90% of the time…Adam and Eddy will introduce something new that could retcon something already known…as was most of Season 3B showed. 😛

But I think the difference between True Love and Soul Mate is simple in these terms…

True Love: Any form of intense love for someone….(Regina and Emma/Henry, Elsa/Anna, Rumple/Bae, and so forth…)

Soul Mate: Any form of intense Romantic love for someone….(Outlaw Queen/Snowing)

[obisgirl]

I’ll expand on that and say True Love can be both romantic and familial but soulmates, for the most part of Once is generally strictly romantic.

[Anonymous]

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[Jenna_B]

disregard!

[PriceofMagic]

I prefer Screwball’s definition of soulmates: Someone who has a “perfect understanding” of the other person. So it is possible to be true love but not soulmates or soulmates but not true love.

So Robin may be Regina’s soulmate because he understands her but that doesn’t mean he is her true love.

All magic comes with a price!

Keeper of Felix

[Slurpeez]

I disagree that the term “soul mate” is strictly romantic or even necessarily exclusive. (Perhaps the SM concept is strictly romantic on the show, but I’ll explain why I think that notion is flawed).

According to the Marriam-Webster dictionary, a soul mate is:

1: a close friend who completely understands you

2: a person who has the same beliefs and opinons as another person

The term “soul mate” therefore can be either platonic or romantic. According to another definition, a soul mate is someone with whom you share a deep affinity. I considered my grandfather to be my soulmate, because we shared a deep affinity for one another. So, my understanding is that familial relationships and relationships between best friends can be considered to be SM status, too. I also think a person can have more than one soul mate in a lifetime. Not only did I consider my late grandpa to be my SM, but I also consider my closest friend to be a SM in the platonic sense, because we share the same beliefs and opinions about the world. That is why I think Eddy’s comments at CC that a SM means there is only one person for you is categorically mistaken. In my experience, a person can have more than one SM, and the term SM is not limited to a romantic understanding but also includes platonic relationships as well.

Moreover, the idea that there is only one person meant for everyone also seems like a myth perpetuated by Disney culture, which leaves many men and women dissatisfied in their romantic relationships. (Check out Soul Mates Do Exist—Just Not In the Way We Usually Think written by a psychologist). Consider this: If you’re always looking out for that one person who totally completes you, then chances are, you won’t be fully satisfied with the person right in front of you. Even longterm, highly-compatible couples suffer from a “crisis of dissimilarity” –which is when they realize that the differences sometimes outweigh the similarities the couple shares. The truth is that no individual can fully complete you, because each individual is unique, having been shaped by unique genetic makeup and upbringing. True, there are people who deeply understand and sympathize with one another, yet that doesn’t mean they won’t have their differences. Even couples who have been married for decades still have differences and divergent perspectives. That is what keeps a marriage feisty. (“Vive la différence!”) Anyway, this myth that there is only one other person for you can even encourage people who are otherwise happily married to commit adultery when they suddenly find their “soul mate” outside of their marriage.

I don’t think there is only one person for everyone. Rather, I think when you really love someone in a romantic sense, you make a choice to commit fully to the person, not because of what you can get out of the relationship, but because of what you can give. To me, true love is putting the needs of another ahead of your own, whether that be in a romantic relationship or in a family. Marriage is something really exclusive in my opinion, so when two people make that vow to love and to hold forsaking all others, they choose to give up potential future romantic “soul mates” for the sake of the commitment they made. Each married partner chooses to put their spouse first and that is why true love wins out, even over potential future SM who may enter the picture further down the line. Real love is therefore a choice, not just a feeling. (Disclaimer: I live in the real world and fully recognize that not every marriage works out for various reasons, but I’m talking about best case scenarios here). By choosing to honor their spouse, a couple can certainly become exclusive romantic soul mates.

"That’s how you know you’ve really got a home. When you leave it, there’s this feeling that you can’t shake. You just miss it." Neal Cassidy

[Ranisha Pitts]

Slurp I agree some people do have one person they love in their life romantically, but others have more. And I keeps my each love is different because you are different and the person you love is different. We evolve, we change, we grow. Very nice Slurp.

"I will be kind but I will speak my mind."

[Myril]

I agree with you, Slurpeez, the term soul mate is not strictly romantic nor is there a good reason, why there should be only one right person, soulmate, true love.

But common ideas of romantic love might have a lot to do with the concept of soul mate as it was developed since (at least) the Greek philosophers. In Plato’s Symposium you find the story, myth told, that it comes from humans having been split into two (!) halves, and since we humans are longing and looking for our other half. Seeing this, we might try to connect with others the same way, might come even close, but there is only one person in the world who fully completes us, one soul mate. A love kinda made in the heavens, by the Greek gods. The one person right for us and existing somewhere on this planet is not an invention of Disney, though very much fostered by Disney and much of our modern pop culture as a part of romance, the one true love.

The Greeks had a bit of a different understanding of marriage, it had little to do with our modern ideas of romance and not much to do with love even, it was an alliance of convenience. Not even Christians have seen marriage as a matter of romance. Romance is something that was described in literary (romances) and poetry (Minnesang) of High Middle Ages, later Shakespeare should be named as one with some influence on the idea of romantic (and less romantic) love, and then there was romanticism – but the connection of romance and marriage is more of a modern idea. Courtly love was something happening outside marriage. It was praised and celebrated, desire described, but it was mostly not decent to consummate it (see Lancelot). True love was a love so great that one was ready to sacrifice lesser needs and desires for it.

Coming from the Greek as well and furthered by Christian philosophers true love as well was the love leaving physicality, transcending human earthbound existence and going beyond, finding a beauty of the divine. No romance though.

In the past decades our idea of a soul mate got new aspects from interpretations of alleged nature religions, karmic and reincarnation believes, occult and cult groups, the influence of the “age of Aquarius” or so.

Some use soul mate more in a non-romantic and platonic sense of kindred spirit or soul, others more in the sense of romantic love. The confusion is all over the place and cultures.

Consider this: If you’re always looking out for that one person who totally completes you, then chances are, you won’t be fully satisfied with the person right in front of you.

I like that view. In the sense, that a lot of people are so fixed on looking for the perfect match, as if it is something they can pick like an apple from a tree. Guess what, you first have to seed, then grow the tree, and then you might be able to pick a great, tasty fruit.

We tend to see love more as a problem of being loved than of our own capacity to give love. As well often a crush or infatuation is mistaken as love. And somehow we wrongly think, that love is something we just know how to do and not something we have to learn and exercise. This fallacy was unfortunately supported by how fairy tales were often read and retold the past century, and much of that was Disney.

And then they live happily ever after – well that is when the really tough part begins. Falling in love is easy, keeping it up for the rest of one’s life is another matter.

¯\_(?????? ?)_/¯

[Slurpeez]

The one person right for us and existing somewhere on this planet is not an invention of Disney, though very much fostered by Disney and much of our modern pop culture as a part of romance, the one true love.

You’re right, and I realize it’s not a modern myth but an ancient one. The idea that there is one perfect match for everyone is a very compelling and powerful notion, as testified by its enduring popularity in modern culture.

"That’s how you know you’ve really got a home. When you leave it, there’s this feeling that you can’t shake. You just miss it." Neal Cassidy

[Ranisha Pitts]

I also take in account of twins, who also have a “perfect understanding” of one another. They can be seen as soul mates and/or true love in just in a non- romantic sense. (Although I have seen some things, on that taboo documentaries)

"I will be kind but I will speak my mind."

[Author]

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