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But like I said, this isn’t just ONCE or A and E. It’s media–in all its complexities
I think this is such an excellent point. Rape culture (rc in this post) is pervasive in all types of media, it is a CULTURE, it’s a cultural norm, and it’s something that needs to be acknowledged before it can be changed. To some degree, merely being aware of it is a win.
Example: Over Thanksgiving, I was at my parents’ and my mom found Gone with the Wind on TV. She flipped it on, figuring I’d be happy to watch it with her. As a teen and young adult, I LOVED that story. I read the book and sequel as a young teen and saw the movie shortly thereafter – it still sits on my bookshelf at my parents’ – and had the framed movie poster hanging on my wall. But what she flipped on was Rhett and Scarlett’s departure at the burning of Atlanta, where Rhett pulls her off of the carriage and demands a kiss. Holy.rape.culture. I was so uncomfortable watching that scene, watching Scarlett struggle against him, watching how BROKEN she was after he left. As a young adult, that was romantic – look, look, she just needs to give in to it! – but as an adult, it was nauseating (to the degree that I ended up excusing myself from the room, acutally.)
Gone with the Wind is considered a classic romance. That movie is from 1939. This is not a new trend… the trend is in recognizing it and calling a spade a spade.
Yes, the rc argument is part of the reason I am anti-CS. But my acknowledging that it’s rc is not because I ship SF and it’s not even because I’m anti-CS. These are three separate issues… 1) CS exemplifies rc, 2) I don’t ship CS, 3) I ship SF. The three are not inter-dependent.
Somewhere in the recesses of my brain, I have notes about a “maturity in shipping” post, about SF vs. CS and how what we learn as we grow in life influences what we ship. One of the things I want to talk about is a favorite ship of mine when I was 17-18-19… one that I can now look back on and see how MUCH it played into rc. Do I still ship it? Yeah, I do, I’ve shipped it for literally my whole adult life (despite the fact that it ended a decade and a half ago) and emotions don’t change that easily. But I can still acknowledge how terrifying certain aspects of the relationship were – and watching it now, there are scenes I watch simultaneously squirming in shippy happiness and cringing as I see the rc stereotypes played out.
If CSers want to ship CS, I am cool with that. But refusing to acknowledge the problems that exist in the relationship *or in the storytelling* is just futile. CS *does* play into rape culture. Likewise? I certainly hope all SFers realize that their relationship was likely illegal at the start. We can split hairs all we want about the morality or even actual chronology of the situation (and it should be unsurprising that I’m not terribly bothered from a moralistic standpoint,) but *legally* there was a six-year age gap and in Oregon where they met that was a legal issue.
(The irony, for me, is that I also have no question that the legal issue wasn’t intentional and was rather the byproduct of the writers’ inability to do math. Unfortunately, that doesn’t change that it exists. Further irony is that I’m not sure they could define rape culture if you asked them to, let alone understand how they’re playing into it.)
BOTH ships have problematic elements. The key difference for me is that based on what I’ve seen – which, it goes without saying, does not include every shipper, everywhere – fans of one ship want to sweep all of the problematic elements under the rug, while fans of the other would like to see the characters acknowledge, delve into and resolve those elements. I think that goes back to the maturity element; at 18, it’s very easy to assume “as long as everyone is loves each other and is happy in this moment, life will be perfect,” whereas by the time you’re 30 you realize it’s the struggle that makes it worth it – realizing that everyone screws up, and it’s how you fix those mistakes that defines who you are.
Based on what I’ve seen, I get the impression that CSers seem to think, “If only we can prove that SF was statutory, they’ll stop saying Hook is a rapist.” There appears to be a lack of understanding that a) the two aren’t mutually exclusive, and b) “convicting” the dead guy of a legal standard 1) doesn’t change the morality of the situation and 2) doesn’t absolve THEIR guy of HIS wrongdoings. It just means both ships are deeply flawed. (Nevermind that, for the most part, no one is saying Hook is a rapist, just that CS embodies rape CULTURE.) And until BOTH sides are willing to accept that they have deeply flawed ships, there will never be any ability to have a productive discourse on the subject.
And (please pretend I say this from a place of no optimism) – I think we’re more likely to see Neal Cassidy breathing again before that happens.
[adrotate group="5"]Cause this story needs some mending & a better happy ending...
Rape CULTURE =/= rape. It’s a thing I didn’t even know existed until relatively recently, or I should say, I didn’t know it had a name. The very culture whereby Hook declared he would “win” Emma’s heart *despite the fact that she wasn’t into it* and it was portrayed as romantic is where the issue lies.
I always go back to the example of when he looked through the pirate telescope at the family dinner at Granny’s. I watched that and said, aloud, “That’s stalkerish.” Other Roomie said, “Kinda creepy, kinda romantic…” NO. This culture has warped our views to the point that we (general viewership we) interpret that scene as, “Aw, he loves her so much and she doesn’t return his affections, poor guy,) when in fact it is NOT romantic. If, last week, any of us had looked out of our windows at Thanksgiving to find someone peering in with a telescope, we would have flipped our junk and called the cops. Right? I mean, if you’d looked out your window during your family holiday meal and seen it, would you have thought, “Oh, there’s ol’ Johnny, the grocery bagger who always flirts with me… he’s so sweet, he’s got such a crush on me, maybe I should date him after all,” or “There’s creepy Johnny, now he’s turned into a stalker and I am now freaking out and frightened. I really hope a visit from the local police gets him to quit.” Certainly, for me, it would be the latter.
It’s perpetuated in having Emma say lines like, “why don’t you curse the lips of someone I’d actually want to kiss,” and “I don’t trust you,” then having her “give in” in the VERY NEXT episode and start dating him. Just keep on keepin’ on boys, eventually she’ll see your charms and you’ll get the girl. NO. She.said.NO and he DID NOT LISTEN. THAT is rape culture.
Cause this story needs some mending & a better happy ending...
^That whole argument is seriously out of hand. It’s like round and round and round… every week… I think last week it lasted so long it bled right into ths week’s round of it. :p
Seriously, no one is ever going to agree or change their position on it, canon conflicts, A&E will never clarify it… the whole thing makes me want to beat my head against a wall. It’s just fighting for the sake of fighting and it makes me want to SCREAM!
(I wish all of the SF fans would just stop replying, the CSers would get bored arguing with no one, eventually.)
{Sidenote: I still contend that the fact that they need to bring up the exact.same.argument – and only argument – on a weekly basis speaks volumes about what a threat they feel a DEAD CHARACTER is to their ship. Which IMO speaks volumes about how secure they feel in their ship’s long-term prospects…}
Cause this story needs some mending & a better happy ending...
Neal was definitely Han, but “I love you too” is a pretty reasonable reply to “I love you,” lol. Who knows. A&E do love their pop-nerd nods but I’m not ready to bet the farm on that one.
Cause this story needs some mending & a better happy ending...
I hate that we even need fanfic. There is a zero percent reason we should need to write canon-based stories to take care of what the writers forgot.
Speaking of fics, read a chapter of a story I’ve really been digging and then popped back to tumblr to see the SF gifset based on Will’s true love speech and just… gah. Now I’m all feelsy and it’s like 8 in the morning. I miss my ship and I’mma gonna need you to give it back now writers, all right? Kthxbai.
(Even having inexplicable long-term faith doesn’t really exempt one from occasional fits of foot-stompy tantrums…)
Cause this story needs some mending & a better happy ending...
A total random, but… What’s the scuttlebutt on AH directing an episode next half?
Cause this story needs some mending & a better happy ending...
…there is, of course, more to that story.
So nannykid saw a display of gingerbread houses when we were out earlier this week, and I promised him we could make one this weekend. He told me he wanted a house, and also there should be an ocean, and a boat. So today, I was trying to make a template to cut the darned gingerbread boat out and I sent him into the playroom to retrieve a boat for me to use as a pattern – he returned with the Jolly Roger. “Uh, are you sure this is the boat you want me to make, Goo?” LOL.
Because I’m a good nanny and am striving not to pass my issues on to nannykids 😉 I dutifully cut out the JR pieces. Only, I failed to factor in the fact that the boat is significantly smaller than the house, and therefore, the gingerbread needed less time to cook… as I pulled it out of the oven, my first thought was, “Oh d***, I burned the Jolly Roger!” Then it was so funny I had to come post here!
Cause this story needs some mending & a better happy ending...
I burned the Jolly Roger today…
That’s all.
Cause this story needs some mending & a better happy ending...
Probably the same people who voted him into the PCA finals 😉
Happy thanksgiving, all! I am so thankful for all of my fellow bison ranchers!! xo
Cause this story needs some mending & a better happy ending...
