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A small taste of chapter 1 (I’m hoping to get the story mostly written before I start posting anywhere plus I’m reworking some of the chapters so that they better fit with the new story I have in mind). Let me know what you think.
Henry sat silently in Granny’s Diner, finishing his plate of fries as Emma looked on concerned. “You okay?” she asked, brow furrowed. “You’ve been quiet all day”.
“Yeah, fine” answered Henry, eyes focussing on his plate instead of his mom. He didn’t want her to suspect anything. Tomorrow was Father’s Day, the first one of many he was supposed to spend with his dad, and if all went to plan, the first he would be spending with him. His dad was gone, dead, and he never got the chance to say goodbye. Tonight would hopefully change all that.
Emma wasn’t entirely convinced but she decided to let the matter rest for now, Henry would tell her when he was ready and pushing for an answer would only make him clam up more. “I was thinking maybe Killian could stay over tomorrow night” she said, trying to change the subject, as she grabbed her car keys and stood up to leave.
“Yeah whatever” Henry shrugged as he followed his mom out to her car and climbed into the front passenger seat, placing his rucksack by his feet.
“Okay, good” nodded Emma, starting the car. She turned on the radio in order to fill the awkward silence that was accompanying them on their journey home to their new apartment. When Blondie’s One Way or Another came on, Emma decided to sing along.
“Mom, stop, please! You can’t sing” Henry pleaded, a reluctant smile starting to appear on his face.
“What? I’m a princess!” Emma teased lovingly. “All princesses can sing. Hasn’t Disney taught you anything?”
“All the Disney princesses can sing in tune” Henry laughed. “You can’t!”
Emma pretended to be offended. “How can you say that?”
“What? It’s true!” replied Henry, a broad grin on his face.
[adrotate group="5"]All magic comes with a price!
Keeper of FelixI think Rumple does say that to Regina. Question is, is it before or after she takes Belle’s heart?
All magic comes with a price!
Keeper of FelixAlso, Emma and Hook’s relationship will be explored further,
True Love’s Kiss not happening this season but season five, as I thought. (5A, maybe?) Hell, maybe even the last season of the series.
What if Emma becomes the dark one and TLK is what cures her of that? I think if a TLK is going to happen it would be during 5B because if Emma is the dark one then surely the writers would want to explore that?
and it will become clear where Regina and Robin Hood stand.
These guys will get a tlk though, which makes sense because this half is Regina’s arc.
At least the OQ drama will be resolved hopefully once and for all. TLK for these two is too soon though.
By the end of the two hours, one person will be gone forever (as much as they can be on this show),
Emma
I think she becomes the new dark one. Hopefully Rumple lives, possibly becoming powerless, which is something they should explore in season 5.
and everyone will be left this season with a big “change in condition” that will carry over into next season.
This is so vague, I have no idea how to interpret this.
Perhaps because everyone got to see things from the others perspective, ie heroes became villains and villains became heroes, the lines between the two are now blurred? plus a saviourless Storybrooke?
All magic comes with a price!
Keeper of FelixI was thinking the same thing. Make Rumple think that there is still hope between him and Belle and that she really does want him back (which might not necessarily be false)
And it’ll all depend on what say Belle has in all this before we can comment fully on consent.
I think Belle does still have feelings for Rumple but she’s not at a stage to decide whether or not she does want him back. I hope Belle is consenting but the whole Regina “steals” her heart implies that Belle hasn’t given her consent.
I think it would be cruel and a poor move on Regina’s part to give Rumple that sort of hope by controlling Belle. All it would do is antagonise him because:
1. Regina is controlling Belle and taking away her free will.
2. It just pours salt onto the wound of heartbreak that the glimmer of reconciliation was all a lie which leads back to point 1.Theoretically, Belle is the only person that is leading Rumple to hold back on his grand master plan instead of going ahead with it full speed and Regina is essentially waving a red flag at a bull.
All magic comes with a price!
Keeper of FelixI think also, you’re writing Hook as pressuring Emma to do this activity with him and that’s really not him. Hook’s been impatient with Emma at times, but I’ve rarely see him go to Emma and use ultimatums with her on the show. That feels very Out of Character for me.
In fact, often, he’s been the very patient one, not really pressuring her to choose him. He didn’t go around in 3B, crying to Emma “Pick me!! Pick me!!Pick me!! Emma, Pick me!!” I can’t see him pushing her to have sex with him.
I think when taco or coffee time arrives on the show, it’ll come naturally for both and not because it’s something one or the other demands. That’s not how their relationship works.
Also remember, Emma herself can’t handle a lot of pressure. Remember season one when August took her on that little motorcycle trip because he was desperate to get her to believe and she broke down in front of him that this is not what she wanted. When she’s being pressured and pushed into a corner, her first instinct is to run.
I think you also have to consider that too.
I can see your point. Okay, I can rework that. How about, instead of Hook cheating on Emma with Milah, Milah thinks Emma has stolen her man since Hook told her that he has moved on with Emma?
I have to disagree to the friends with benefits thing- I dont think Tink & Hook interacted enough nor intimately enough for that to have ever happened- why would Pan let Hook form any sort of attachment with Tink & visa-versa- there is no way IMO, Pan would want Tink linked to Hook in that way, or risk her becoming more loyal to Hook, than himself.
If if they did have a friends with benefit’s kind of deal, Hook would have taken Tink with them when they left, but he didnt, so I get the feeling they encountered each other when & as Pan allowed & not a lot more, so while they didnt love each other, they had no reason to hate each other either type of relationship, so it was more of a ‘they were both simply pawns of Pan & knew it’, type of acquaintanceship.I can accept that theory.
Problem is, going down the “cheating” path ends in one of two ways- either Hook comes off at fault, as he just wants sex, which Emma wont give him, so he gets it elsewhere (which is just not in OUaT’s version of Hook’s nature, at all). Or Emma comes off at fault, as she is stringing him along kind of thing (which is just not Emma’s style at all).
Yeah I want to avoid that.
I think the premise of your story is interesting (without the cheating part), but adding in Hook cheating on Emma (no matter who it is with), because she’s not ready for sex, is totally OOC. Killian straight up simply would not put Emma through it, as he knows she has massive trust issues & he knows it would cost him their relationship IMO. He is far to sensitive & focused on Emma’s well-being, to consider putting his own physical needs (which frankly he can deal with himself if needs be), before her emotional needs.
This has been really helpful.
What do you think about, instead of Hook cheating on Emma with Milah, Milah thinks Emma has stolen her man since Hook told her that he has moved on with Emma?
All magic comes with a price!
Keeper of FelixAs far the heart thing goes, it wouldn’t be the first time we’ve seen someone use someone else’s heart speak to for them. Rumple did it with Hook.
Yup. And Cora did it with Aurora. And Regina did it with Graham.
Perhaps this is how Regina uses Belle against Rumple? Instead of threatening to harm Belle, Regina uses her to distract Rumple…… which is still iffy in the consent area for reasons.
All magic comes with a price!
Keeper of FelixFun (kinda) Exercise :
if you were hired by ABC today and told to do whatever it takes to bring ONCE’s rating’s up what would you do? You can change a current a storyline ,add or kill a character, change publicity tactics, whatever you need to do free rein
Fun question.
One thing I would do is have an arc split over the two halves so that the characters would actually get time to react and process emotions. I’d have Robin actually make a decision and stick to it, in this case it would be with Regina so the OQ drama can be put to bed once and for all. I’d bring back Neal to continue his storyline with Rumple and Henry. I’d get RumBelle back together and actually show them together and working through their issues. I’d give Belle actual screentime. I’d get rid of Zelena. I’d stop the Charmings’ selfish streak and I’d give Regina her sass back when she’s with Robin.
Publicity wise, if I could’ve done the Frozen arc publicity photos I would’ve had the cast in winter gear because that was such an obvious thing to do and abc blew it.
I’d concentrate on providing a decent story and maintaining the audience there is with the hope that word of mouth would bring back the audience that has been lost.
All magic comes with a price!
Keeper of FelixDorothy’s been and gone. That tin man ain’t moving any time soon.
All magic comes with a price!
Keeper of Felix
