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The moment that Emma realised A) He wasnt lying. B) Not every guy is out to abandon her & C) Her mind set could & would effect her future if she let it… I only wish this pic had her expression after he told her ‘no, he wouldnt have abandoned her’.
[adrotate group="5"]I agree with that meta. I’ ve got MA in psychology. I think the whole show is fairly
accurate when it comes to characters development and psychology. If it had been sloppy I would not have watched it. I can’t stand bad character writting. Call it a professional quirk.I’m the same with my watching habits, one of the reasons I really love Emma as a character, is she is so well acted & grounded in reality – I loved the fact JMo actually took the time to research the mind set of people who’ve gone through/grown up in the foster system, so she could understand & ground Emma’s character in that mentality.
Just read an awesome meta on why Killian could & should never have let Emma push him away.
I also understand what they are saying about the reasons why Emma pushes people away & it is exactly why Killian could never allow her to push him away. JMo said much the same thing herself & we all know thats what the writers are going for- funny how it’s only the character bashers & other ‘Emma’ ships that cant see reality.Now I want to address the issue of why it would have been absolutely detrimental had Killian decided to leave Emma alone, especially during times where her behavior might have been off-putting.
Hello my name is Kate and I’m a mental health social worker, so when I see people who suggest that Killian should have left Emma alone I see red and this is why:
Emma being a foster youth, particularly one that transitioned out of the foster system through running away, is a context that cannot be ignored and yet frequently is.
First off, Emma quite clearly has an avoidant attachment style. Basically, Emma lacked a secure base of attachment due to the abandonment of her parents and then her foster parents at age 3. Those with avoidant attachment tend to self-isolate, are emotionally distant, and prize independence for fear of further abandonment. Does this not sound like our favorite savior princess duckling?
The fact that Emma is a foster youth further adds to her need to maintain distance in interpersonal relationships and keep those relationships relatively superficial. These are self-protective strategies that serve to keep her from the emotional heartache of becoming attached only to be abandoned. Remember this is Emma’s internal working model that she applies to all new people- that eventually everyone will leave her. So she doesn’t let people get close enough to matter when they inevitably do.
But keeping people at arms length also protects foster youth from people understanding their deeper fears and shame- primarily that they were abandoned in the first place because there is something fundamentally wrong, bad, or unlovable about them.
This is the biggest reason why Neal’s later abandonment of Emma has such a profoundly devastating impact on her, causing herself to emotionally isolate for a decade after he left her. She let go of her protective barriers for him, and he (regardless of context because Emma knows nothing of it) commits the one act that reinforces all of her reasons for those barriers in the first place- he leaves her.
So, present day Emma is self-isolating and independent. She pushes people away to protect herself, but it’s also an unconscious test. If people leave her when, to distance herself, she is hurtful towards them, then it reinforces her view that she cannot rely on others and perpetuates her isolating behavior.
What she needs to overcome her issues is not people running away from her when she pushes, but staying by her side. She needs concrete and stable examples of people refusing to leave her.
It’s why it was so crucial that Henry refused to give up on her and Snow jumped in the portal after her. This was Henry and Snow showing Emma that this new family- her Storybrooke family- is not going to abandon her.
But Emma still needs that same amount of dedication on a romantic level. Some people don’t need romance for complete lives, this is true- but Emma is arguably looking for romantic love- that’s the whole point of Walsh. He shows us that Emma doesn’t just need familial love- she wants romantic love too. He also again reinforces Emma’s view that those who claim to love her don’t.
And so, Killian, in a stunning parallel to Snow, jumps in a portal after her. After consistently staying by her side and supporting her and NOT PUSHING HER ROMANTICALLY after he finds her in New York, even when she sometimes lashed out at him. Because he knows it isn’t disinterest that is keeping her from him and keeping her running- it’s emotional walls she puts up to protect herself.
Snow, David, and Henry undo the damage caused by Emma’s familial abandonment. Killian undoes the damage caused by Emma’s romantic abandonment.
Killian leaving Emma would only have served as an example to Emma that she isn’t worth staying around for, and that people will leave. It would have been devastating for Emma. The absolute number one worst thing anyone can do to Emma is leave her. You do not abandon the previously abandoned.
That’s why they waited to have Emma learn that Killian gave up his ship for her until the second to last scene of the season. After steadfastly not leaving her, she also learns that he gave up the most important thing in his life for her. Now she trusts that she is worthy, that she is truly loved, and so she finally feels safe enough in the fact that he isn’t going anywhere that she lets him in.
And it was awesome.
Will admit I over looked Walsh’s importance with regards to Emma actually “needing/wanting” romantic love for herself in the here & now- but when it’s pointed out as it is above it makes absolute sense & is glaringly obvious lol
Oh boy, did I just see the BEST ever response to those morons who constantly tout CS/Hook= promotion of rape culture. This chick handed the haters their backsides, with a side dish of butt whip to go with it lol 😉
Apparently we need a definition:
Rape: 1. the unlawful compelling of a person through physical force or duress to have sexual intercourse. 2. Any act of sexual intercourse that is forced upon a person. 3.statutory rape. 4. An act of plunder, violent seizure, or abuse; despoliation; violation: the rape of the countryside. 5. Archaic. the act of seizing and carrying off by force.
Hook has done none of these things. (Well, at least to Emma in the way being discussed here)
I am patently uncomfortable with comparing a man pursuing a woman romantically to rape. The term “rape culture” is being horribly misused here, if I’m not mistaken. (Iirc, it’s about cultures tolerating and normalizing rape, not men trying to win women over)
& this one gets an honorable mention 😉
This thread has become so frustrating because some people, not just Edt, seem to take the stance that it was rape like or compare it to date rape and refuse to look at the facts of the situations.
The problem I have is when you compare it to rape, you trivialize what rape truly is. If you call rape when there is none, who’s to believe you when there is? It’s the little boy who called wolf. And it’s insulting to women to assume that they can’t control their signals. And, dare I say, insulting to the majority of men who don’t rape women?
The other problem I have is that these people are ignoring the obvious intent of the writers. They are trying to force a real problem onto a fictional situation that was obviously written to develop the relationship of two characters falling in love.
Emma and Hook are one of the great love stories on this show, if not the best. And to compare it to rape is insulting to men, women, and the writers.
For some weird reason *snigger* the haters shut up & left the discussion after that LMAO
Maybe he was a lefty until he was forced to become right hand dominant?
I *think* that’s what happened in Peter Pan, but Killian was sword fighting with his right hand before he lost his left. (I remember specifically looking, b/c I’m sad like that
) Lol, Ok- maybe he’s ambidextrous then- at least when it comes to wielding a sword 😉
I’m down with the enchanted hand theory- but how many hands does the guy have floating around his shop if that’s the case …. I’d have thought Belle would have come across it/them is all if thats the case…unless Rumple’s hiding more than just his dagger switching from her :/
Getting away from the blackmailing which I know is a hot topic, I saw a theory on tumblr that what if the hand Rumple gives Hook is not his real hand but an idle hand? An idle hand is a possessed hand that is prone to doing bad deeds even though the person himself is not bad. I feel that’s something Gold would do just because he doesn’t quite trust Hook but needs an excuse if something goes wrong.
I really like that idea. And it would make sense of the pic with grazed knuckles on Hook’s left hand. As far as I know this Hook is righthanded (for obv reasons) why would he be punching with his left?
Maybe he was a lefty until he was forced to become right hand dominant?
The ABC series in casting the recurring role of Lily, a bright, self-reliant teen who boasts a “charming, take-no-prisoners punk exterior and the heart of a secretive, insecure opportunist.”
Am I the only one thinking that the last part of the description doesn’t make Lily sound so great, “heart of a secretive, insecure opportunist”? Makes me all think more of a possible bully, sorry. But having been raised by the queen of bullies maybe not such a surprise if Henry would find that attractive.
Crack Theory on Lily: She could be a gender-flipped Flynn Rider. A&E hinted at comic con that we might see Flynn Rider but the Rapunzel story’s been done so Lily could be Flynn. Also it’s possible Lily is a friend of Emma’s from New York who’s actually older than Henry. When Felix’s casting call came out alongside some other lost boy roles, it was for “teen” boy yet Felix was played by Parker Croft who was 26 at the time. Lily could be played by another 20 something year old whilst the character is in their very late teens. I don’t think they’d give Henry a girl his own age to crush on because that could lead to implications of teenage promiscuity and Henry’s only meant to be 12. By having him crush on an older girl, they can have Henry deal with all the newfound feelings he has but the ship won’t sail.
I like this idea!
I think the loss of the hook boils down to 2 things: 1) Logistics. If they have him wear a hook and change his clothing they have to be extremely careful in what they put him in. They have to make it look like his hook is generally the same length as the other arm, and not a hand holding onto a hook. They’re limited to color, sleeve length…and they would have to get everything custom made to have one longer sleeve than the other. It’s not really feasible. 2) I think that’s the whole point. Hook’s trying to figure out who he is – to lose something that’s a physical part of you and has been for 3 lifetimes…yeah, a hand might make you look like everyone else but it makes you wonder who you are without that part of you. It’s the visual part of Hook’s struggle to figure out who he is and who he wants to be. Ugh, I hope they don’t go the Hook blackmails Rumple route. Simply because it’s the obvious choice. Pick someone unexpected, mix it up a little.
Agreed on all accounts.
To add to logistics- The jacket he’s in would make it near on impossible to hide the fact that his missing hand/hook attachment is obviously a much longer & larger hand held hook attachment, which detracts from the character anyway. You can only really hide that fact if he’s dressed in a single colour with big/baggy or billowing sleeves to help distract from just how great the discrepancy between lengths really is.
Regina has so much to be held accountable for yet it seems all her misdeeds get swept beneath the rug so if Rumple suffers, Regina should suffer too! I hope Hook isn’t blackmailing Rumple since Rumple is one of my favourites and I only really started liking Hook in 3B and don’t want him to backslide into Season 2 Hook territory. What I think would be more interesting is if Hook was trying to help Rumple dealing with the blackmail. Hook may figure out that, because of the fake dagger, Rumple actually had the means to kill Zelena. I don’t see Hook being upset that Zelena is dead. She cursed him and threatened Henry and Emma and was a risk to everybody. I want to see Hook trying to help Rumple and Rumple gives Hook his hand back as thanks. If Hook at least tries to help Rumple, I would love him even more.
I agree, I would love to see the two working together than one blackmailing the other. Blackmailing your enemy is so cliche. But the S3 finale showed that Robert & Colin have some excellent chemistry – I would love to see them very begrudgingly working together. With lots of snark and sass. I think they’ll realize fairly on they’re going to have to – for Henry’s sake. I think both men are going to show they want to be in Henry’s life (and no, not because Killian wants to get in his mother’s pants, because he actually wants to know Henry – yeesh! Thought I’d toss in some anti-Hook gibber gabber). And Henry is exactly the kind of person that would encourage them to work together. Heck, Henry’s the kind of kid that would set up some kind of situation to force them to work together!
First of all, I agree that Regina should have to deal with the “consequences” (to use the word that she throws around at everyone else) of her past terrible actions too! At least she has apologized to Belle and acknowledged that she was wrong. But the thing that everyone (especially Snow!) seems to forget is that she had King Leopold murdered. Snow apologized to Regina over and over for killing her mother, but I didn’t hear any apologies from Regina to Snow for having killed her father. And I think Rumple’s murder of Milah is in the same category. I don’t expect to see Rumple apologizing to Killian or anything, but I’d see it as more reasonable and/or realistic that the two could at least reluctantly work together if it seemed like Rumple at least realized that he was in the wrong and expressed some semblance of remorse for having murdered his wife because she dared to leave him after he made her life miserable. I don’t really expect either of those two grievances to be settled at this point in the story, but the lack of acknowledgement or remorse from both of them for their specific respective actions when they live in close proximity to those most hurt by those actions just bugs me. I definitely agree that scenes with them are a lot of fun though, so I’m looking forward to seeing what’s going on there regardless.
Agreed, I also want Regina to at least acknowledge that she & she alone is responsible for Emma growing up an orphan with a crappy life.
Okay, so I’m shallow. Shoot me. But what a good day it is to wake up to a Wet!Colin first thing in the morning.
http://hookier.tumblr.com/ As you can see by the clinging t-shirt, our collective Boyfriend has been working out …..I think I’m in love with this game 😉
